Half Empty

It's been coming for a while now, like too little butter spread over too much bread.  I want to wrap myself in warmth and security.  I simply cannot see that happening at the moment.  There have been times, don't misunderstand; at the moment however it feels as though I have to be the strong one.  The one with her shit together, the voice of reason, care, leadership, authority.  The adult.

I'm so tired.

I barely have enough in me to adult myself.  I. Am. That. Tired.  So how do I hold everyone elses shit together?  Fake it till I make it right?  Not always a possibility, so in those cases my shit just has to be set aside and focused on later.  Can we just stop the world?  I'd like to get off now.

Everyone likes to shout about self care, and I'll be the first to agree its damn important.  Normally I'd say just let the juggling balls drop.  Do the self care, and pick the mess up after.  These balls cannot be dropped, these aren't silly obsessive bullshit things.. These are mandatory, you need these to live balls I'm juggling.

So much to do, so many more miles to go before I can sleep.

DYI Rosewater

For the Homemade Rosewater: 
1: Remove petals from stems and run them under luke-warm water to remove any leftover residue.
2: Add petals to a large pot and top with enough distilled water to just cover (no more or you’ll dilute your rosewater).
3: Over medium-low heat bring the water to a simmer and cover.
4: Let simmer for 20-30 minutes or until petals have lost their color and are a pale pink.
5: Strain the mixture to separate the petals from the water.
6: Discard petals and place water in a glass jar to store.

Rosewater Toner:
1 Tbsp of rose water to 4 Tbsp water for face toner.


Using 7 rose stems makes around 1.5 litres of rosewater. This seems like a lot but it keeps for a long time in the fridge. Just store in a sealed, glass container until ready to use.

Repent it's Lent

The annual midnight Bourbon St. sweep brought the Carnival season to a close.  So ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  Yeah, it's Lent.  Y'all take it easy.  We made it through another one, New Orleans.

I do hope mes ami  that you got plenty to atone for.  Hope you all said a fond farewell to the flesh. 

It's the cycle, Crescent City. And we are startin' it again.

Might I wish a fond see you in my dreams to the Krewe's of Selene, Bacchus, Poseidon, Morpheus, Endymion, Zulu, Krewe du Vieux, of of course REX!


Rest up mon amis, for there are only 355 days until we feast again.

 

Fais Do-do tis Carnival!

Just one more day, one day until Lent.  So let's have it, the merriment before the penance, and the feast before the fast.  I'm gonna keep y'all company all the way down, even if not in person.  Hey, brothers and sisters, y'all know what "carnival" means in Latin?

 Well, this Firefly went to the good schools, so she can tell you all about it.  "Carnival.  Farewell to the flesh. "  That's what it means.

"Farewell to the flesh. "

 When the Catholic Church realised they couldn't rid us of our pagan ways, - They invited... - Jesus.

This explains a lot.

It has been suggested by some scholars that the pagan practice of “weeping for Tammuz” that Ezekiel decried (Ezekiel 8:14) was the actual origin of Lent. Tammuz was a pagan god associated with death and rebirth in nature and the husband of the goddess Ishtar.

Well today is the day, New Orleans.  lt's Mardi Gras. And time is already runnin' out.  When the clock strikes midnight, when good ol' Comus greets Rex, when the police on their horses come to sweep us out of the Quarter, it, mes amis, is histoire.

Lent starts tomorrow, mes amis, and me, l want somethin' tasty to give up.   That's right, it's Mardi Gras. lt's Fat Tuesday, and l am fat.  My belt is broken, my pants are open, my belly is a mountain of love stuffed with oysters.  And y'all know what tomorrow is.  Ash Wednesday.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  And you can keep the silverware, cos tonight l'm eatin' with my hands.

You better hurry before they get here. The men on their horses, sending us out of the streets and into our home to repent for all of our sinnin'.  Hours to go, hours till judgment.  So get drunk, get fatter, and get fucked.

 Yeah, you're right. l said it.  Y'all can trust the Firefly.


Laissez les bons temps rouler!

Face Your Fears

Many of the events and experiences we have in life can leave us feeling broken. We see brokenness on a personal and social level every day, and may ourselves feel fragmented and shattered. It seems unavoidable.

It’s not something we can control; perhaps the most important thing is how we respond to it.

For some of us our response is to build walls, metaphorically and literally, to try and shut out those things which threaten or disturb us. We see this often not only in our own daily lives, but in so many others in social media as well. We create barriers, turn away from one another, turn inwards, and live with fear. Often confronting our own brokenness is too painful, too disturbing, too much to handle, and rather than engaging with our own hurt we either lash out at others or shrink into ourselves.

Facing your fears, and yes they are fears.  Fear of disappointment, fear of shame, fear of hurt, fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, fear of being vulnerable and the list goes on.  However facing those fear is crucial to living a fuller happier life.  It does not always mean that we conquer said fears, some fears will always be there in the background, but they are manageable and we can still move forward. 

It's okay to open up and speak on your fears.  It's okay to speak to your brokenness. 

Soft Taco Friday

Dinner with our family tonight was something I was totally looking forward too.  It's been a rough week and the call to gather and laugh was in deep demand.  I'm worried about my Domina, this loss has been a hard hit for her, I want her to see and know in her heart that we can and will help her through this.

Tonight we laughed and allowed the sorrow we feel at Raven's loss, and all of the losses we've had over this year to fade; if only for a moment o allow a little light to seep in and warm us once more.     

Good bye Sweet Girl

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Until we see you again, Raven, Mako, Missley, Silva, Same, Evander, Muppy...  You are missed daily and loved always.