Richard

 It’s been at least 10 years since I’ve seen Richard.  He was one of the more demanding kinkster’s I’ve scenes with over the years.  Richard expect perfection in everything.  One of the few that demanded control over all aspects of his life.  He never relinquished it.  Where it is common for those in power positions within their professional life, to desire a break if you will.  To come out of the headspace of constant oversight and mellow out, Richard was not one of those people.

I do not believe that Richard was ever one to find tire happiness or complete pleasure in life.  Be it personal or professional.  He could have easily been one of those men you’d think would have been abusive because of his requirement for constant control should you have been in a romantic relationship with him.  I however never crossed that line, and to the best of my knowledge he never allowed himself to be in such a situation.  

For all the control he demanded, he was exceptional at communicating not only his needs in a scene, but also in communication in general. I’m not certain as to why I was surprised.  Perhaps I expected him to be far more reserved when it came to communication outside of a scene, but now that I look back on it all, I suppose that even our “casual” talks were in essence to Richard part of a scene.  

We had many lengthy talks about life, business, people in general, and a time or two we spoke very openly about his requirements in both his professional and personal life.  Richard was one that did in fact shock me with his level of accountability and brutal honesty in regards to himself.  While he operated within his ID he did not often operate within his ego.  If that makes sense?

Many within the kink community often have rather large ego’s.  It’s something that I softened heightened within a scene.  Richard did not fall into that category.  Now anyone within the community reading this will certainly see that Richard was not an actual kinkster, but a personality type; and one that we shall not diagnose here.

From time to time I do wonder where Richard is now.  If he ever changed his character?  Or if as I suspect, was unable to be anyone but his authentic self and is still seeking the ever unobtainable standard of utter perfection.  I could have called or messaged him a number of times, I however find that a breach of trust on my current relationship and on Richards privacy.  We parted on exceptional terms, I believe I may have Ben one of the limited few to ever receive praise and a smile from Richard.  

I say that with a healthy dose of reality, understanding that the praise I received was for the striving of perfection not ever obtaining it.  

Funny how those memories sneak in from time to time.