Derby Days Past

 There will be no wide brimmed hats donned with such care and grace.  Not this year.  Thanks ever so much mass spreaders.   At the very least, I am still able to enjoy a beautifully glazed bourbon cake.  Oh how I miss being in the South for these events.  The regalia, the food, the mint julips, muddled ever so perfectly.     

Sleep

What a dreamy idea, yet when there is breathe in my body, and a thought in my head how can I sleep? 

Would I not be robbing you and myself of the opportunity to suffer through my spelling errors, my wit, charm, shameless sexual advances on my not so innocent husband?

If I slept now would any of you know of the deep unhealthy feelings I hold for all of you, or would I just be a faded memory, or worse yet a used tissue in the hand of father fate? 

If I slept and did not share with you the random evil that has become such an important part of our very normal *cough* lives would I not be giving into to the bible thumping head hunters that would have us eating whole grain foods, and brushing after every meal?

Should we allow this sadness to take place our should we rage against the night? Should we just sit idly by and no longer post, leaving the walls of our home barren and uncorrupted?  

I say nay! I say we band together and vow to paint the walls red with passion, the trimmings yellow with a zzzzsnap embracing all that Mirage has endowed us with. I want us to haul in purple rugs to give a comfort that reminds us of Razi, and a fluorescent green lamp shade that screams Evil thread 666 jesteR lives all night as we suck the marrow from life rendering it our whore now and always.

Ok enough from me...

 I love you buh bye... silly buttons!

Reflection On Time 2

 Barbie, you have really mulled this over. I know you said that you'd rather claw out your own eyeballs than go back to any reunion. But what if, just play along Barbie. What if for those few short hours in time, you get to go back. To be who you were, the same kid with the same attitude?

Would you? Could you?

You see I am the shy quiet girl (figuratively for you, but literally in my high school) who sat in the drama class and never said much of anything and spent a lot of time looking at the floor. I didn't disappear..I chose to live, to come out of my shell and grow.

I am also the girl who started a family. Perhaps too soon and it has not only aged me, but has given me insight and strength. With those added insights and strength, I found a unique set of  tools and hopefulness to teach the family that I created early on, not to walk down the same road that I have.

You never really get to go home again. The buildings are there, the structure's the same, but nothing else seems familiar. 

But if you give yourself permission, permission to just be who you are. Permission to not care about the "cliques" to not notice who was the popular kid and who were the nerds. Permission to mix and mingle and perhaps get to know that one person you have always wanted to talk to, but wouldn't, couldn't or were far too shy to. You might have fun and for a split second go back in time, so that those who didn't know you then, who never knew you were alive or didn't care that you were will leave that reunion with your name on their lips and your memory etched in their mind. And then you will have touched the world.

Just a thought. 

Reflecting On Time

I kind of whipped this up while I was sitting at work and thought I'd share it. It'll explain why I'll likely be in a really weird mood the next few weeks. 

Perception is an odd thing, especially when it involves something as abstract as time. A day can drag on and "last forever" while weeks, months and years can seem to disappear in a flash.

I like many of you possibly have; quite a few years ago, subjected myself to one of the most spectacular examples of this phenomenon: my high school reunion. My graduating class had about four hundred and thirty people in it. I wouldn't say I really knew a lot of them, but I could probably have picked about two thirds of them out of a police lineup by the time I graduated. In the months and years that followed, I lost contact with... well, just about all of them. I never saw them around town for the brief time I returned home and then moved out to the sprawling metropolis of York Region into the USA.

It wasn't quite a "small town", with right around 12,000 or so folks living in the area at that time, but people sure lived like it was. It was everything you'd imagine a large rural high school to be, right down to the cheerleader sex scandals and hockey heroes who always managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time after the last school bells rang. Some went to college, others went to work, still others started a family right away... or worked on raising the family they already had started.

There was always that bittersweet mixture of joy and tragedy, opportunity and wasted days, youth and death. I remember the honor student who had a few beers and fled the local cops for fear of getting busted. He wrapped his car around a tree and died on the scene. There's always that tinge of the tragic around youth. It's never quite the carefree time that is romanticized in music or movies or TV. Everyone had their scars and trials and burdens to bear, but most came out of it okay. At least, they came out as okay as an seventeen-year old kid could at the time.

We made it through, got our diplomas, hung out at parties for a few weeks afterward and went our separate ways. I think of all that I've personally been through in those many years away and how it's shaped me. I've made decisions and paid the consequences. I have some fantastic memories and bitter regrets. I look in the mirror now and I don't see the baby-faced teenager who walked off to college with a baby in one arm full of hopes and dreams of being a profiler. Sometimes I stand and stare at my reflection for just a few seconds and think of how it's all different now.

Now I can say I got to go home again. I got to walk into a big room with mid-80's music playing loudly and shake hands and exchange laughs with people I never really knew to begin with. I got to also see some people I did know pretty well then. I looked into their eyes and searched for who they used to be... and it wasn't there. None of us were really who we were, or who we were going to be; because that's how time works. All the hours and days and months and years just kept adding up, and it was all there on display for me to see. I got to see how the homecoming queen aged, I heard how the quiet girl in my politics class just disappeared one day, and for some strange reason, it hurt me. I got to see the question in so many hearts, "How did this happen? I wasn't supposed to be there, like this, at this time. I was supposed to be someone else."

We'll all be different from who we were. Just not whom we thought we'd be.

That's time.

Utter Randomness

Why is your sky blue?  Mine is black. Black as night.  Just a depthless void filled with invisible stars that are overpowered by the synthetic night-life.

Tiny ice crystals fall from the sky to create a shimmering image that is soon destroyed by snowplows and salt trucks.  Maybe we're better off staying home in the winter.  Few things are more beautiful than a parking lot covered in a white coat.

Okay, I'm just about done.  Thanks for playing.

Forgiveness

I wasn’t always good at forgiving.  In time though as many of us learn, forgiveness is far more for ourselves than for the other person.

Forgetting, well that isn’t something as easily done.  I’m far more patient than I once was, I even believe in second chances....third... well that’s just pushing it.   So yes I will forgive, I will give second chances, I will do my very best to remain friendly even.  It’s probably why those whom think they know me and even dare to call us friends fail to realize it’s not my anger they should concern themselves with. It’s my silence.

You can be guaranteed that if I cut you off.  You handed me the scissors.

When I’m done, I am done.  There will be no going back and repairing anything. Disrespectful, boundary crossing behaviour will never go unnoticed, nor will it be accepted.

Fare Thee Well 2019

While reflection is never a once a year event, the end of year is often a good time to take stock of both lessons learned to be certain; I however also like to delve into the good that occured over the year.  Not just in my personal life but the world over if you will.  I try to embrace that goodness and positivity and draw that hope forward with me into the new year.  For with the trials and tribulations that surround us in this world it can become far too easy to overlook or loose sight if you will; of all the good that reaches up through the darkness to remind us that humanity is not yet lost and that hope is always there whispering to us in a myriad of forms.

As this year comes to a close, if you're feeling a tad exhausted, know that you're not alone.  The world over we have all been busy.  Many days it has felt as if we aren't bullying one another online, we're shooting one another offline.  It is as though an unending barrage of summits, crises, and protests have dominated our news feeds and lives all the while the flat earth believers, climate crisis naysayers, and one large orange cheeto would have us believe it's all "fake news".  Wherever your belief system lays on the fake news front, there have been some notable event, both for the good and the bad.

In 2019 protesters in Hong Kong clashed with police, fire consumed an 850-year-old cathedral in Paris, the U.S. women’s soccer team won the World Cup as Megan kicked balls and President Donald Trump became the third president in U.S. history to be impeached.  Felicity Huffman reminded us yet again that fame isn't everything, and that an earned education is the only way to go.   China followed in Ozzy's footsteps and landed on the dark side of the moon.  Grumpy Cat died.  In August the earth's lungs coughed up smoke, and we tree huggers wept as the fires raged in the Amazon Basin.  While the smoke sadly didn't choke out Jair Bolsonaro, we could cheer on Jessica Meir and Christina Koch in October as they took "girl power" all the way to the moon for the first ever all-woman space walk.  The Donald made history as the first sitting U.S president to set foot in North Korea but let's be honest we were all more focused on Dennis The Worm Rodman.  He can get emotional.

The photo of the father and daughter from El Salvador who drowned trying to cross the Rio Grande in April symbolized a U.S. asylum process in crisis.  Tensions flared in the Persian Gulf, Macedonia changed it's name to North Macedonia, a white supremacist live-streamed his attack on a mosque in Christchurch, New Zealand, that left fifty-one people dead and yes facebook let the video stream for an hour.  Likes and follows still seem to plague us, while violence is acceptable so long as there aren't any women's naked nipples visible in the post.  Unfortunately breed bans still plague us and have attempted to extend to control over women's reproductive rights.  However women, old and young alike have come together; stood shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip to push back.  Reminding those foolish enough to test our willingness to set aside our differences and stand together.  May we know those women, may we raise those women, may we be those women.

 Our 93 year old Queen Elizabeth II may not be telling us what's in her little handbags but she did one up the Kardashians when she gave faux fur the thumbs up.  Opting to wear faux fur for any events where her warmth will be in question, it is a big long awaited step.  Swiss design graduate Luisa Kahlfeldt has designed an award-winning "Sumo" nappy, made entirely of a fabric composed of seaweed and eucalyptus.  The Gram got an unpaid lifeguard in Ingebjørg Blindheim who like many of us uses Instagram all the time—but not for the selfie game.  The 22-year-old monitors the hidden corners of the social media platform, currently keeping track of around 450 private Instagram accounts. When she feels someone may be close to taking their life, the 22-year-old Norwegian alerts emergency services.

Marsai Martin is 14, outstanding, and she's Hollywood's youngest executive film producer, period.  Missy Elliot made it into the songwriters hall of fame, the only woman rapper btw and it's about damn time. Youth-Led Climate Activism went Global: Johannesburg. Stuttgart. Manila. Seoul. Hundreds more worldwide.  Sparked into action by 16-year-old climate activist Greta Thurnberg, the youths around the world walked out of school in May in protest of climate change.  It made headlines and some grown men thump upon their hollow chests to taunt and bully Gretta and many others from behind their keyboards.  Hunky Jason Momoa stood tall and truly manly before the UN refusing to cower behind a keyboard attacking children, he also admitted that his favourite colour is pink.  Neither of which seemed to come under significant attack by keyboard warriors.

Lizzo Released Her First Album and Rocked a flute, while reminding us that living our dreams and reaching success may not be easy, but it can be damn inspiring.  In Toronto we changed the narrative, opening the first mosque for women.  Our Raptors apparently shocked the world by winning their first NBA championship; and We The North became a universal chant...or maybe that's just wishful thinking.  A freakishly wet spring pushes Lake Ontario water levels above those that closed the Toronto Islands in 2017.  Welcome to the new normal in climate change.  The National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls releases its long-awaited findings and concludes what most Canadians already knew – that Canada continues to engage in “race-based genocide” against the country’s original inhabitants.  The only question left is: what’s Canada going to do about it?

While it's not all sunshine and daisies, fewer of us had a cow this year; embracing more plant based meals.  Those lovely humps (not lady lumps) are back up from only hundreds in the 80's to over 25,000 and Galapagos conservationists found a living member of a giant tortoise species previously thought to be extinct. An Auschwitz survivor celebrated her 104th birthday with 400 of her descendants, and I can't think of a better F.U to nazi's the world over. One circus swapped real animals for holographic ones. Roman McConn of Augusta, Georgia, who at 7 years old won ASPCA award for rescuing more than 1,300 dogs from high-kill shelters. Social worker Alan Naiman lived an incredibly frugal life. He was so frugal, in fact, that Naiman managed to amass a wealth of $11 million, which he promptly donated to children’s charities upon his death. The beautiful brain of biochemist Camille Schrier made a splash with her science experiment during the Miss Virginia competition that brought home the crown.

Whilst I was drinking wine and applauding that hot brainy crown wearing chick. Mera, the 45-pound Tibetan mastiff and Himalayan sheepdog mix completed a grueling hike up a Himalayan mountain with a group of climbers. The interesting thing was that the dog had seemingly come out of nowhere. Much like my second glass of wine. Go Mera! Gary Sinise and his foundation treated 1,000 kids of fallen military heroes to the trip of a lifetime as he had done each year since founded.

2019 reminded and retaught me of the importance of unconditional love, self acceptance, health is wealth, and to continue to strive for inner peace.  I've had my ups and downs with it all to be sure, yet hope springs eternal; as do the lessons I've not quite yet mastered.  Unlike others, I have not suffered the effects of empty nest syndrome.  I see my adult children growing stronger, bolder, and more independant in all of their choices and freedoms.  I can do nothing but applaud them in their actions.  Their resilience, strength, compassion, and drive often times rivals my own and I could not be happier for it.  It is what I have always desired for them.  Be better, do better, choose better than I.

This year I was also reminded of some good old adages:
01: Productivity before 9:00 AM is a game changer for me.
02: The right thing is easy to do when ego is removed from the equation.
03: Happiness is a choice.
04: Know your worth and understanding it.
05: Stop giving out discounts on your life.
06: Seek knowledge before you make your decisions, not after.
07: Not everyone will travel the entire mile with you.
08: Remove toxic people from your life.
09: Never give up your voice, or allow another to speak for you.
10: I can love you from afar, I can love you without liking who you are.
11: Say something kind, but make it truthful.
12: Communication is ever and always key.
13: Unplug from social media to gain better perspective.
14: Hear your opposition's point of view.
15: Know your core values and accept that morality is subjective.
16: Leave the planet a better place than when you entered it.
17: Put in an actual effort to be less of an asshole. (working on it)
18: Triage it.
19: Always rescue.
20: Find your passion, go after it with gusto.
21: Be brave enough to suck at something new.
22: Laugh.  Seriously, laugh often, loudly, and at yourself.
23: Reach out.
24: Look people in the eye.
25: Choose love.

So as we, or maybe just I walk into 2020 singing Better Life by Pink let's hold onto the good stuff and strive for so much more of it.

Holiday Cheer

Merry Christmas and Happy Yule to everyone who celebrates this holiday season, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. Whatever you celebrate pertaining to your authority, be safe this season. To say everyone is going to have a wonderful holiday season is naive.  Be mindful and extend a supportive hand, show humility and compassion because adversity does not discriminate.

For more years than I can count, there have been many attempting to remind others that this is a season of loving and compassion.  It isn't about the gifts and greed that often accompanies all aspects of commercialism.  There's no time like the present to accept such knowledge into your heart.  I challenge all to preform one act of kindness.  One "pay it forward".  One honest to goodness, act of kindness.  If we each did just one of these things every day, maybe, just maybe our world would be a better place with far more hope than we currently have.

Love And Let Live

What I do in my house, you might not do in your house.

The truth of the matter is what people do behind closed doors is between them those four walls.  I embrace that if it is consensual, it's not my business.  Morality is subjective.  It took me a long time to accept that statement.  It is a truly hard pill to swallow when you allow ego to stand at the forefront.  I have found with all aspects of life that if one can take ego out of the equation, the answers become so very simple.  

It is your business not mine.  If you're of legal consenting ability, then what you do with your life is not my concern unless it directly impacts mine in a harmful manner, or if it destroys/harms another.  Again this "harmful direct impact" must not be ego based.  My discomfort or disagreeance with another's belief isn't actually harmful.  Just as what you think of me is not my business.    

I still like to think that the basics of, "be kind" is key.  Although I will be the first to admit that I have most certainly failed at this many times over.  So I try harder and surround myself with people who hold me to a higher standard.  Humans as a whole are quite quick to throw stones while their own closets are chock full of skeletons.  What is in the dark will always come to light, let karma do it’s job.  Sometimes what you say about people is only a self assassination and reflection of your character.  

Always be better than and greater than.

In Her Story

She knew it was important to live for herself.  She crafted her story, so carefully.  It was well rounded with successes and failures.  Plot twists, quests for truth, justice, and honour.  Great moments of riotous laughter, silly antics, wonderous dreams; and maybe a dragon or two.  In her story, she survived it all.  She survived the eding, she even survived herself. 

She learned through her trials that you cannot give love to those who don't know what to do with it.  She learned the difference between and how to separate need from want, and the value of each.  It freed her of cumbersome trappings and taught her to value her own happiness.  Letting those whom chose to hurt her find their own path, not waiting for them to change.  Finally understanding that placing her values and needs first was not selfish but her own moral obligation.  She had to be her best self, for herself.  An assertive heroine who fought for and cherished something within herself so many others tried to kill.   

Be A Beautiful Soul

Money does not impress me.  Show me more.  Show me your true character.  I can be very hard not only on others, but more so on myself.  Show me a beautiful soul.  For a beautiful soul speaks far louder, and rings clearer to me than your trinkets or wealth. 

A lonely castle is not a castle worth living in.

End Game

The game. They say either a person has what it takes to play, or they don't. Still some try, knowing that they'll never be front runners in the game of life, but they do try. My mother thought she was one of those greats. She wasn't much of a team player, but she played. She taught me how to read people, how to duck and cover. She taught me how to be overly critical, not only of others but of myself as well. She taught me many things. How to be a great team player, wasn't one of them. So I....I was kinda screwed from the start.

Each of us starts out here on this 3rd rock from the sun; clueless but hopeful. Wanting in on the game. A the years pass we look back, remembering when we were the students in school being taught by teachers. Today, we are the teachers; be it through parenthood, career choices, or just being a leader of people in general. The fourteen years plus we spend in our chosen schooling paths, well they were  the best and worst of our lives. Still even at the end of "class" out here on the field of life we will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition, if competitors they be. Some of those around you will look for the easy way out. Others will crack under the pressure and head for the hills. Others still will be asked to leave the field of play. This is your starting line. This is your arena.

How well you play? That's up to you.

Like I said. I was kinda screwed. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game. And you either take that step forward, or turn around and walk away. I could quit. But here's the thing: I love the playing field. I found my team. My cheerleaders. My people. So. I made it through 25 years of teaching, although looking back now I believe they taught me more than I did them. I have found my people. We all have it would seem. My team, they're all good people, you'd like them. I think. I don't know. Maybe. I like them. I love them.

Oh, and while I once swore off love; I've changed my mind. I'm not going to run away or hide. I've built a life. It's not a fairytale. But it is home, you know?

I'm home.

Sectarian

As the circle closes and we (I) weed out those that are, not friends I feel a sense of calm.  Brief though the moments are, I realize who was actual friend and who was not.  There were far too many whom smiled when things were going their way.  When gifts and wine flowed freely.  Now that the gifts and freebies have stopped, so have the smiles and kind words.  I much prefer this.  Honesty in all it's harsh glory is far better than false friendships. 

I like the quiet life.  There's a calm that is actually coming.  I know it may take time, but peace will also follow.

I Sometimes Get Diarrhea Of The Brain

So yeah it’s been a hotlanta minute. Had a happy break and missing it already... I’m fairly disillusioned with humanity. Yes The Pirate and I had an actual conversation about me trying harder to care about people, or at least make an effort to try. In general I don’t. I see so many amazing humans that I actually want to see succeed and be happy and have goodness in their lives (which is why there are like less than 20 of you on my friends list or that I respond too. I see you and your compassion, your desire to do good. Thank you for that. ). The rest of humanity... I don’t hate. I honestly don’t feel anything for. Like your lives just don’t matter. I see your self entitled insanity and I just.... can’t. You lot are fucking exhausting.

So many amazing advancements In this world and none of them in the departments of humanity, compassion, betterment of the planet. We’re still trying to decide if racist behaviour, gender bias, human rights violations, homophobia, and animal cruelty are bad?

Seriously? It takes everything I am not to just stand and scream nonstop in an unending loop. We no longer know what is bad?

Ok morality is subjective. It is. No I don’t need your god or your advice. I need to continue allowing you to be you, me to be me; and if you try to hurt (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually) me, mine, or the environment and those beautiful creatures in it I’ll shift my focus to you... and you won’t like it.

Don’t ask my opinion if you can’t handle it. I will not nod and smile in the face of idiocy not even if your family. For if good men do nothing, ‘‘tis evil enough.

I remember coming into FB not to yell at Markzucker Zuckerberg about freeing the nipple and being so damn gender biased that I want to puke.

I remember coming online to connect and catch up with people I don’t get to see too often and this is way cheaper than that long distance phone call.

I never once needed to check with FB on how to properly supervise my very active children, or if I should or shouldn’t vaccinate them. Those calls were up to me and not to be discussed with anyone but my health care provider. I didn’t require a status check on if it was too hot for my dogs to be in a car or that I shouldn’t feed them onions or chocolate. I didn’t have to hear about how I should spend my money, time, or energy. Or what/who I should or shouldn’t put into my Body as the decision was mine alone.

Never once needed to creep someone else’s posts. If I wanted to know how they felt I asked them. Good, bad, indifferent. Didn’t matter because it was how they felt and at the end of the day they’re entirely entitled to their feelings in the moment they are felt.

Never needed to have to block someone. I told them we weren’t friends and that was it. We went our separate ways and lived our lives and didn’t put on wigs or pretend to have different names or addresses to slink around and see what one another was up too.

I didn’t require going to my instagram or FB DMs to see a penis or 10; or to receive a compliment. If you have to private message a compliment... even if that comment Is “wow you are stunningly beautiful “ so as not to offend someone’s partner ... there’s something wrong.

I can happily say Mark, Jayne , Mist , John , Jess , Josie, Eve, Gill , Joey , Janice , Alison , Teri you’re beautiful, handsome amazing people and not for a second have to private message such as they and my awesome husband Scottie understands that it’s a compliment. And there’s nothing wrong with a genuine compliment. I appreciate the positive energy and compassion these people put out into the universe. I love that during some of my negative moments these beautiful souls show me there is goodness and light still out there even if I can’t see it in that moment.

I’ve tightened my circle greatly. Placing my energy where it is best served. My dogs are both nuts and the new one might end up being hairless ... he’s a hot mess with more issues than there are clouds... you know because “free to good home” is never free. The cat is a complete asshole but she’s our asshole and we love her.

My son is still my heart that beats outside of my body and my daughter is still my soul rendered visual. My ex and his family are still/always amazing fantastic people whom I love with all my heart. You all aided me in bring these fantastic kids into the world and even after or breakup you all held a place for me in your lives. That speaks volumes.

I hope your Saturday is filled with laughter and light. I’m going to feed to dogs and enjoy my farting oaf stink up the bathroom as I shower. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Half Empty

It's been coming for a while now, like too little butter spread over too much bread.  I want to wrap myself in warmth and security.  I simply cannot see that happening at the moment.  There have been times, don't misunderstand; at the moment however it feels as though I have to be the strong one.  The one with her shit together, the voice of reason, care, leadership, authority.  The adult.

I'm so tired.

I barely have enough in me to adult myself.  I. Am. That. Tired.  So how do I hold everyone elses shit together?  Fake it till I make it right?  Not always a possibility, so in those cases my shit just has to be set aside and focused on later.  Can we just stop the world?  I'd like to get off now.

Everyone likes to shout about self care, and I'll be the first to agree its damn important.  Normally I'd say just let the juggling balls drop.  Do the self care, and pick the mess up after.  These balls cannot be dropped, these aren't silly obsessive bullshit things.. These are mandatory, you need these to live balls I'm juggling.

So much to do, so many more miles to go before I can sleep.

Good bye Sweet Girl

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Until we see you again, Raven, Mako, Missley, Silva, Same, Evander, Muppy...  You are missed daily and loved always.

I find it Funny

Sometimes I kind of laugh, okay I really laugh hard.  Generally at the most inappropriate moment; in a manner that is least expected.  I've said it, well I say it often, "if your mother had have been pro choice, then maybe she would have made the right one."

In an attempt to be hurtful? harmful? helpful? humourous?  Someone repeated it back to me.  I laughed.  Hard.  My mother was.  My grandparents being staunch roman catholics weren't.  So madre would have lost out on her million dollar trust fund and any inheritance; had she followed her dream of aborting me and backpacking through Europe.  Life's full of tough choices.  Hence after my liquored up debut into this cold world, I went to live with my grandparents and madre went back to work.

Thus she is also a liberated woman, a pro choice supporter, and a capitalist.  Capitalist being the most notable of all in point of fact. 

I find it funny because it's all true.     

10 Commandments of Logic

Forward

Life is an arduous, uphill journey but at a certain point, the view becomes fantastic.

Got A Secret

Scientific documentation tells us that at any given time the average person is keping somewhere in the vicinity of 13 secrets.  13.  The weight of those secrets will of course be individual to all, however to the average person, the weight of even one or two secrets of tem times makes hills seem steeper, roads seem longer, and well open honest communication bringing forth actual connection damn near impossible.  

If we as collective humans are hiding so much, what does that in trn say about our commitment to honesty?  Authenticity? Transparency?  Not to mention what it says about our attitudes surrounding trust.  Seem's to me like a lot of effort without any reward or payout.  

I'll pass.