A year end review...another long winded brain barfing a la carte

The more things change, the more they stay the same; or is it united we stand divided we fall? I have concern that we may land on the wrong side of the former quote if we are not careful. Maybe this year it has been a little of it all. Our sanity breaks stemming from LOLz Cats and heroic stories from those who rescue everything from coral to wildlife; that is for those who've not completely given up and ensconced themselves in the neutrality of internet porn and 4Chan or trying to keep up with those baffling Kardashians. (which still might fall under the wide cast net of porn) Oh yes, lest I forget Beyonce had twins, I shaved my head, am still the nicest lesbian in York Region voted by cab drivers thank you for your faithful service Today's Taxi, and I officially became too old to show my knees in public; yet managed to completely embrace National Naked Gardening Day despite the rain and frigid temps. Thank the net gods that event was not and will not be televised.

We've clearly had our ups and down's, there are so many days when you can't imagine anything good will ever happen. I watch as my fellow countrymen and women both in Canada and The United States (for these days I find myself a woman without a true flag) bury themselves under a black fog of partisanship, self promotion, chosen ignorance, and what we've come to note as a brand of politics that is just plain mean. Hurricane Irma, the wild fires in California, Las Vegas, Charlottesville, Va., Sutherland Springs, Texas, and Nazi's marching with nary a care (thanks to a wink and nod from D.J.Trump) down the streets taught us new levels in the fear of loss and a return to racism and many other “isms” that my grandfather; rest his soul donned a uniform and pledged to protect us from. I do wonder what his take on all of this would be. I dare say he and I would have had some rather heated debates on it all. He was after all a Regan supporter, and a staunch Catholic. To be fair I worked in the voting polls for Obama and am a staunch tree hugging Pagan. We all have our crosses or trees it would seem.

2017 was the year Republicans took over the government, democrats and the news media obsessed endlessly over allegations with the 2016 elections. President Trump's incessant chatter about "fake news" has become a viral meme. A Toronto man (Adi Astl) taught us the value of just getting it done, cutting through the red tape of city counsel and building a staircase for $550 dollars and not the estimated $65,000 quote from city hall. I can only assume he bought his nails in bulk. We Canadians played our version of “Where's Waldo” and sure enough found Anton Pilipa, who had been missing since 2012; living in the Amazon. Many celebrated 150 years in the square, and some in a very large Tepee, leading to communication on why not everyone cheered the progress of the last 150 years understandably. And we had some long overdue apologies to our indigenous peoples, with a greater understanding that we must do our best to help heal old wounds from the horrors we as Canadians have allowed to be ignored.

The message to end bullying in all its forms became far more prevalent. It not only brought us celebrities like Lady Gaga, Demi Lovato, Allison Janney, Ellen, Pink, Pitbull, Nick Cannon, Metallica and Maclemore just to name a few to stand with those feeling utterly alone, but allies in the most uncommon of folks as well. Xander Rose of Nova Scotia found support when his family grew 100 fold to include 100's of bikers escorting him all the way to his middle school doors and proving that loud pipes really can save lives. Even in the face of bullying and racism. Maybe just maybe if politics brings out the worst in people, people can and do bring out the best.

Wherein we often see women bring other women down, it does seem to be a year of “Women supporting women” from notables like Kortney Olson of GRRRL clothing, and my sisters in the Grrrl Army who inspire me daily. Much like my fellow animal advocates and rescuers who regardless as to the daunting task before them, and the misinformation touted by others continue to, as Rebecca Cory would say “Be their voice”.

It was also the year my son stood where his grandfather had stood. Honouring the dead, along a beach, hillside, ridge, and monument covered in boots and poppies, a testament and reminder to us all that we as a country are not only “the peacekeepers” be we indeed stood up as warriors defending those who had no legs, gave a voice to the voiceless, and maintain no matter the odds never backing down to the evil within the hearts of men whom try to do us and others great harm. I cannot yet put into words the emotions that evokes for me, suffice to say it is powerful.

Just as powerful for me was my ability to do my part in helping other's who simply needed a chance. ;IGY6 (pause I've got your six) is now and will remain near and dear to me, and through some of my work with our Battle Buddies I have come to know some amazing humans and Kelly is one that really moved me in her willingness to share her daily life with PTSD and just what that looks like. When some of the more difficult moments of the year hit home for me it was people like her and my ex and still best friend Les's, open letter of apology to those citizens he polices and across North America who had become openly and with reason distrustful of those in service to protect them. Reminding me if not us all that hero's don't have to wear capes, some just wake up every day and truly care.

2017 for me personally was a year of growth, and breaks (yes Mattea my bones do ache), getting lost, getting found, getting woke further, and finding a balance between my adoration of all things nature and love of all things technological. Bridging a gap between the two and finding connection within. “The circle of my steel” both expanded and yet closed in it's ranks. There is a feeling, an urgency if you will of needing one another more. In actually connecting with others both face to face and online. A merging of compassion's and a demand to hold and be held accountable. When I wasn't able to travel I relished in the adventures of John and Mist, and love their reminders that adventures big or small are always best when done with a glad heart and a positive attitude. Next to Jayne and Mark, Mist and John are the people I greatly admire for their compassion, and who are just good people. Who knew a love of reptiles would bring such outstanding souls into my life. Of course John would be completely dismayed should I not note that he is a manly sort of man with great looks and a working tool box...Mistelle stop spitting tea on the screen and laughing you hot momma.

So to close this year I was also able to see my brother Michael find his inner smile and his outer calm, he will never know how deeply loved and appreciated he is just just for being himself. I reconnected with my sister Darla, and got to acknowledge how damn grown our 'children' are. Plus I became a glamma to the most adorable grandpuppy named Roman, and continue to have the distinct privileged of seeing my daughter grow in her inner strength and her outward confidence. What more could I possibly want than to look back over the year and see that my children, their siblings (my other kids), and those that I love be happy?

Regardless as to the political climate, and the fallout that has occurred within and without our borders it is my fondest wish that you can look back over your year and smile knowing that you are loved.

Fire Below

Some days it all goes right. Timing is perfect, numbers climb with ease, and everyone crossing your path has something nice to say. Those days are fantastic. 

Today everything that could go wrong kind of did. Murphy and his entire book of laws sidled up to me and made me his bitch. Still I was sure we could salvage our numbers and just hold our heads high. Now I’ll let you in on a little secret ...”there is such a thing as too much focus”. 

550 pieces, 2 weld cells, 3 robots, 4 tricky light curtains, can have me really hauling ass and doing my best to ensure the paperwork doesn’t look like marauders rode through and beat the living daylights out of the place. Especially when there are less than 8 of us in the entire plant trying to keep things going while everyone else is off until the New year. 

I was so hyper focused on making numbers that the look of... utter bafflement and shock upon my face sent my future ex-husband Jordan into fits of laughter as he calmly said, “umm sweetie, the back of your cell is on fire.” 😳 “So that’s why this cell smells like eggnog!” Was my surprised response that now sent Jordan into peels for laughter as he let loose with the fire extinguisher. 

Fire suppressed rather quickly with the two of us attacking it, all the while I grumbled “big factory filled with metal and concrete and I have to be the one to set shit on fire... fml” Jordan for the most part tried to stifle his laughter as we sprayed and stomped the fire to a slow and tedious death. 

When we cleared it all and I was ready to get the damn cell back up and running we surveyed the debris and low and behold my part in the fire was completely secondary as the maintenance man was the culprit. The little bitch didn’t want to get dirty so he laid cardboard down on the floor to lay upon. 

That was our ignition point for the flames, his tool kit and grease covered rags just helped everything along nicely. Jordan who as luck would have it was doing some suspension work above me and from his gear as he hung from the ceiling noticed the flames. 

So thanks to my future ex-husband for saving my life. 😋 next time let me finish my work first!

There is help a text away

Let the word spread, let the people know, there is always somewhere they can turn.

Did you know that if you text 741741 when you are feeling depressed or suicidal, a crisis worker will text you back immediately and continue to text with you?  Many people, especially younger folks, do not like talking on the phone and would be more comfortable texting. 

It's a free service to ANYONE

Lugz and Christian Dior Lipstick

So way back in the 90s I had this kid. Where my daughter Tea is my soul rendered visual, GQ is my heart that beats outside of my body. He was and still is one of my biggest touchstones, challenges, and honesty gauges. Thankfully I have children who will call me out on my shit faster than anyone. I raised them to be outspoken, free thinking, society changing little peeps... and doesn’t it friggin piss me off when they do it. 🙈😆. So this awesome highly active kid enters my life and can crawl faster than most people walk, was riding a 2 wheeler by 3yrs old and rarely sat still. Enter timberlands, lugs, baby steel toes just to slow this little lovable shit down! (Not thinking ahead to when they came off at how much faster he’d be🙄) so big bucks spent on the boots, even bigger bucks spent on at the tube of Christian Dior lipstick that was so purple and gorgeous and like a weeks worth of plasma donating to afford... 🖕🏼. So I go and do the dishes only to notice The Quiet... panic, fear, then omfg what have you done dismay and a phone call to his awesome dad with the teary begging of “if you don’t come get him I’m taking him out and we can just try again...” kind of faulty logic. There my son sat using my beautiful tube of brand new very expensive lipstick to completely colour one of his Lugz a stunning shade of rich purple. In that moment I was certain I understood why lions eat their young. Thankfully he still lives and is awesome AF but yeah when he has kids... oh man pure jokes coming his way. 👍🏼😈

Catching Lightening

What does "mainstream" mean to you? 

Over the years mainstream to me has come to mean sweet fuck all.  Mainstream or often time social norms, has given us a culture of permissiveness to all the "isims" and negativity that has feminists and out of the box thinkers shouting louder than Susan Powder "stop the insanity!"  Mainstream thinking would have us believe that rape culture is the norm and ok.  That women are still best when married with children, and far too emotional than men. 

Mainstream has young girls believing that numbers are important; and yes they are if you are an economist, a mathematician, a scientist, or any of the other jobs that require an acute attention to numbers.  However mainstream isn't focusing on those things are they?  No they are focusing on the size of our breasts, waists, age, and height to weight ratio.  Mainstream has us focusing on having the perfect beach body, and so many other harmful stereotypes. 

There are so many more glass ceilings to break through, chains to break, minds to expand, and souls to set a blaze with a passion for so much more than what is to be accepted as the norm.  My visions of life at 50 and beyond has nothing to do with slowing down, finding a cozy sweater, or of thinking about retirement.  I've always said that I haven't a problem settling down, its the settling that I will continue to push back against.  As though because of my age I must slow down and just accept that this is how it is and is going to be. 

Fuck that!

I have zero fucks for societal norms and the expectations that those whom follow mainstream thoughts hold for me.  Mature women are far better at catching lightening then men are.  We can adapt faster and understand the value of catch and release like few others.  Our value does not decline as we age.  Our power grows exponentially with each year and every new experience. 

We don't often see that, and it's merely because it's not part of the social norm.  There are those of us whom are changing that.  We are pushing back against what is expected of us and showing other's that what we expect of ourselves is of far greater importance and value.  We are changing the game, changing the narrative, and changing what the face of maturity looks like.  We are walking, lifting, and powering our way through those barriers both in and outside of the gym. 

Each of us has the ability to change the minds, hearts, and thought process of not only ourselves but those around us.  We are a GRRRL ARMY and we will not be stopped by anyone.  We are mothers, sisters, grandmothers, friends, lovers, and we will not stand by silently as has been so often the expectation.  We will not allow our worth to be defined by our size or our age.  She is not my competition, she is my equal even in all of our beautiful, powerful differences.

KO Founder of GRRRL Clothing

         

Home For the Holidays

Wherever you may be, may you be healthy, happy, and whole.  May you on this day of giving now that you are a gift onto yourself and you are loved.  Be safe, be warm, and even though I cannot be with you physically, I am always with you in spirit.

Oil Lamps and Memories

Shine on, there’ll always be a little light. ❤️ I love you to the moon and back...