Clapback

Just because we are grown doesn't always mean being an adult.  Living next door to my husbands ex comes with it's own set of challenges.  98% of the time we do amazingly well.  We smile, nod, engage in small talk and are generally personable to one another.  It isn't perfect, but at the end of the day we each simply live our own lives and are all the better for it.

From time to time we have to chuckle and shake our heads, as Pirates ex "80's Hair"; get's into one of her moods where she enjoys taking as many jabs at me as she can.  Be it her relationship advice on how to best take care of my husband, or her racist views on mixed couples.  Typically I sit and smile back twice as bright.  What better revenge is there than a life well lived.  Happy, smiling, and self assured.  Then there are the moments, brief as they are where I find my inner Queen rising up to the surface and with a Z-snap delivering a clapback that shuts the woman up for a while.

It has always been and will be my advice to all, just keep smiling and live you truth.  Embrace your best life and go forward without a care as to what someone else has to say about it.  It is after all the most well adjusted and mature thing to do.  For the truth is when we are in full control of our own emotions, other have no actual control over us.  There are however those times, and I will also advise to make them count as they should be rare; when you need to bite a back in such a manner that the next time they even think about fucking with you, they sting just from the memory of your initial bite.

I cannot tell you that I am proud of my clapback.  Nor can I tell you that I feel guilty about it.  Come for me, no problem.  Come for any of my children with racist remarks and all bets are off.  I will at that point be a callous, cruel bitch aiming right where I know the most damage will be done.  I will also not just be catty, I will go for the low blow that involves a portion of your truth that you hide from.  See sitting and listening carefully brings forth many advantage points.  Facts and knowledge are always key.

So when 80's Hair after many racial insults, quiet and low key as they were, decided to reach out again and attempt to push that button, I grabbed hold of her ugliest truth and went to town.  With her vast experience in "healthy relationships" I point blank said, "by all means share with me your knowledge.  You've had a three or four husbands who apparently beat you by your own claims and gained amazing sexual confidence and knowledge from your relationships with your father and brother.  So please share with me what you know about happy, healthy, solid relationship skills."

She hasn't spoken to me since.