Watch Snakes on a Plane, Block Party, Pan's Labyrinth, do your nails, give yourself a pedicure. If you're a little more ambitious you could always organize your g-string drawer. I did that yesterday evening so I’m not going to bother doing it today. Am I the only one here that has at least 30 pairs of underwear? Okay the ladies will understand this… You have to have good and ‘the other’ underwear. You know those ones we only wear on those ‘not so fresh days’. Okay just seeing that typed out makes me laugh. But just so you guys understand, we cannot, I repeat.. We. Cannot. Turn our g-strings inside out, so of course we have to have a few more.
Yeah I'll admit it, I love bad B rated films.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Called In
It was to be my day off but I have to cover for SkyGirl. She deserves the day off with the crazy hours she's been working. She's trying to complete her Reiki Master training and it's taking it's toll on her. She's dedicated and fantastic at what she does, but right now I think it's safe to say that she's a great big ball of chaotic energy. Yeah, I need to ground her.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
He Talks to His Cookies
6:23 PM
Pirate's of The Caribbean at World's End was great. 2 hours and 45 minutes of action, laughter, and some decidedly good adult humor. The verdict is in and Jack Sparrow has the largest telescope. It's big and manly, and....Sigh...rugged manly Pirates. Oh unhygienic world never looked so good; well until everyone smiles. Nuugghh.
Earlier...
Yeah, so a few days have gone by since Lord Montague arrived here and we've managed to make him completely nuts. He's got his cookie and he's barking at it like it should answer him. Maybe that shower messed with his poor puppy brain cells. Okay it wasn't so much his shower as it was mine, but he seemed to enjoy it just the same. I being the twit who was so not awake at 'ohmyfuckinggodsitsearly o'clock' hopped into the shower. I happened to forget to close the door in my less than heightened state of awareness and low and behold Lord Montague jumped into the shower with me. I have come to find that a cold wet nose pressed up against the back of your calf when not expecting it can be rather...jarring? It's almost as good as an espresso first thing.
Eyes wide and a quick look over my shoulder confirmed that I had not suddenly started doing drugs and that the dang dog was just so happy to be happy that he came to tell me all about it. So there I am slipping and sliding, while he is slipping and sliding around the damn tub. Conditioner on the tub floor is both a danger to dogs and humans alike. The cats sought refuge anywhere but the bathroom as the shrieking continued. I cannot honestly say f it was myself or the dog, though I will claim in public should this ever get out that it was clearly the dog. Finally throwing a towel over him, I got the situation completely under control… Yeah, right. Still we’re both clean and smelling fabulously like Biolage conditioner. His hair is fantastic and my coat is as shiny as ever, or so the ever so bloody helpful TGB states. Nursing homes that abuse the old is where he and my mother are going you know.
Actually, my hair looks great. I’m having a decent arse day; no really these pants, new ones; are just lifting the old girl up to a point JLO should be green with envy, and I think I’m taking Whimsy to the movies. We’ll have a bit of a girl’s day and go see Pirates and lusty wenches. Yeah so that’s my dream but it’s a good one! I’m kind of surprised and pleased to say that I managed to get Whimsy’s hair combed out after her, uneventful, shower in less than two hours. It’s always a bit of a fuss to do her hair in between relaxing treatments. Her fro is…wild. It has a life all it’s own and has decided to take all it’s frustrations on me. Not her fault. It’s just genetics. I’ve always had curly hair, and her father of course had a fro, if he let his hair grow; so she was never going to get that perfectly straight hair. Thankfully she’s accepted that. For a long while she wanted to have “white girl hair” much to my dismay. When it finally sunk in that I, her mother, a ‘white girl’ didn’t have straight hair, she slowly began to accept that curly hair was okay. Bothersome at times, but okay. She’s asked and I’ve said okay, to trying out the Japanese retexturizing on her hair, but I’ve yet to set aside enough time to complete the lengthy process. It’s not all that difficult, it just has a few steps that have to be followed to the letter and with her hair being as thick as it is, will take a little longer than it would for average curly hair. Okay I’ll probably write more later, but for now it’s time to ‘bounce’ as she claims. There be pirates awaitin’ our arrival! By the gods I love my little nerd.
Pirate's of The Caribbean at World's End was great. 2 hours and 45 minutes of action, laughter, and some decidedly good adult humor. The verdict is in and Jack Sparrow has the largest telescope. It's big and manly, and....Sigh...rugged manly Pirates. Oh unhygienic world never looked so good; well until everyone smiles. Nuugghh.
Earlier...
Yeah, so a few days have gone by since Lord Montague arrived here and we've managed to make him completely nuts. He's got his cookie and he's barking at it like it should answer him. Maybe that shower messed with his poor puppy brain cells. Okay it wasn't so much his shower as it was mine, but he seemed to enjoy it just the same. I being the twit who was so not awake at 'ohmyfuckinggodsitsearly o'clock' hopped into the shower. I happened to forget to close the door in my less than heightened state of awareness and low and behold Lord Montague jumped into the shower with me. I have come to find that a cold wet nose pressed up against the back of your calf when not expecting it can be rather...jarring? It's almost as good as an espresso first thing.
Eyes wide and a quick look over my shoulder confirmed that I had not suddenly started doing drugs and that the dang dog was just so happy to be happy that he came to tell me all about it. So there I am slipping and sliding, while he is slipping and sliding around the damn tub. Conditioner on the tub floor is both a danger to dogs and humans alike. The cats sought refuge anywhere but the bathroom as the shrieking continued. I cannot honestly say f it was myself or the dog, though I will claim in public should this ever get out that it was clearly the dog. Finally throwing a towel over him, I got the situation completely under control… Yeah, right. Still we’re both clean and smelling fabulously like Biolage conditioner. His hair is fantastic and my coat is as shiny as ever, or so the ever so bloody helpful TGB states. Nursing homes that abuse the old is where he and my mother are going you know.
Actually, my hair looks great. I’m having a decent arse day; no really these pants, new ones; are just lifting the old girl up to a point JLO should be green with envy, and I think I’m taking Whimsy to the movies. We’ll have a bit of a girl’s day and go see Pirates and lusty wenches. Yeah so that’s my dream but it’s a good one! I’m kind of surprised and pleased to say that I managed to get Whimsy’s hair combed out after her, uneventful, shower in less than two hours. It’s always a bit of a fuss to do her hair in between relaxing treatments. Her fro is…wild. It has a life all it’s own and has decided to take all it’s frustrations on me. Not her fault. It’s just genetics. I’ve always had curly hair, and her father of course had a fro, if he let his hair grow; so she was never going to get that perfectly straight hair. Thankfully she’s accepted that. For a long while she wanted to have “white girl hair” much to my dismay. When it finally sunk in that I, her mother, a ‘white girl’ didn’t have straight hair, she slowly began to accept that curly hair was okay. Bothersome at times, but okay. She’s asked and I’ve said okay, to trying out the Japanese retexturizing on her hair, but I’ve yet to set aside enough time to complete the lengthy process. It’s not all that difficult, it just has a few steps that have to be followed to the letter and with her hair being as thick as it is, will take a little longer than it would for average curly hair. Okay I’ll probably write more later, but for now it’s time to ‘bounce’ as she claims. There be pirates awaitin’ our arrival! By the gods I love my little nerd.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
I'm Such A....
Wuss? So Lord Montague is now the proud owner of a...Doggie car seat. Yeah, I know I'm rather pathetic when it comes to my pets. My kids sucked on the soothers that fell directly onto the floor but the dog gets a car seat. Stop laughing! It's with good reason that he has a car seat. He's cute. Okay that's just one of the really, really, good reasons. But seriously, if you travel with your pet's in your cars or trucks they should be wearing a seat belt. My rottweiler has what is called a seat belt harness, for he's way too big for a doggie seat at 130 pounds. Lord Montague is but 8 pounds so just strapping him in with a harness is a bit more dangerous, plus I fuss. Yeah, there it is I admitted it; My name is Jade and I'm a fuss fart. Once again I say, stop laughing at me! I'm so going to pout.
Long story short. We worked a road side accident. Drunk driver hit a family van and killed the parents. The 5 ear old didn't have a mark on him. Would have survived, except the family dog was in the car and not belted in. Dog became a projectile and snapped the 5 year olds neck. My father, TheGolfingBiker and I had to go and collect the equally dead dog and wrap him up. It was something neither of us wish to see happen again. The big gruff guy went out and bought 8 dog seat belt harnesses and walked along our street handing them out to our friends for their pets. I've never seen him cry like that before. It was a sobering experience. Make sure you all get to where you're going safe and sound. Everyone in the car wear a seat belt. I may not know you but I'd miss you just the same if something happened to you. Please.
Now let's move onto something lighter. I shopped for golf balls. What the hell was I doing shopping for golf balls? I haven't a friggin’ clue. Ever seen two women with absolutely lost looks on their faces when a third woman say's, "hey are these golf balls any good?" Umm they're balls and it says golf on the front of it. That pretty well sums up my knowledge of the golf ball enlightenment. I do however know that when I got TGB, "The Big Berthas" which are clubs, that the sight of them can render a grown man speechless. *Shurggs* They said golf on the sign, and I knew they were clubs for hitting the balls. He deserved a treat and I figured what the hell. He'll appreciate the sentiment. Okay so he was more than just appreciative, but once again, me...golfing? Not so much. My family golf’s, I, well my total golfing experience consisted of being taught by my grandfather. My very patient grandfather whom begged and pleaded with me to put the clubs down and just go back to doing my nails, and ‘supervising’ the others while they gardened. Their was this pained expression that I remember him getting each time I took out hunks of grass the size of small ponies in his lawn. I was 8 or 9. I took up shoe shopping shortly after and got into track and field. I was actually pretty good at shot put, but my event was the 4x4 and 100 meter dash. Plus I had these really cute Nike cleats! Yeah, I know, kinda hopeless huh? But I did dig in the dirt today! I dug out holes and Monty and Van filled them back up….okay so it was more of an exercise of lets see who can dig fastest but I did get dirty. I think I kinda smell too. I know you’re all feeling bad for laughing at me now aren’t you?
Long story short. We worked a road side accident. Drunk driver hit a family van and killed the parents. The 5 ear old didn't have a mark on him. Would have survived, except the family dog was in the car and not belted in. Dog became a projectile and snapped the 5 year olds neck. My father, TheGolfingBiker and I had to go and collect the equally dead dog and wrap him up. It was something neither of us wish to see happen again. The big gruff guy went out and bought 8 dog seat belt harnesses and walked along our street handing them out to our friends for their pets. I've never seen him cry like that before. It was a sobering experience. Make sure you all get to where you're going safe and sound. Everyone in the car wear a seat belt. I may not know you but I'd miss you just the same if something happened to you. Please.
Now let's move onto something lighter. I shopped for golf balls. What the hell was I doing shopping for golf balls? I haven't a friggin’ clue. Ever seen two women with absolutely lost looks on their faces when a third woman say's, "hey are these golf balls any good?" Umm they're balls and it says golf on the front of it. That pretty well sums up my knowledge of the golf ball enlightenment. I do however know that when I got TGB, "The Big Berthas" which are clubs, that the sight of them can render a grown man speechless. *Shurggs* They said golf on the sign, and I knew they were clubs for hitting the balls. He deserved a treat and I figured what the hell. He'll appreciate the sentiment. Okay so he was more than just appreciative, but once again, me...golfing? Not so much. My family golf’s, I, well my total golfing experience consisted of being taught by my grandfather. My very patient grandfather whom begged and pleaded with me to put the clubs down and just go back to doing my nails, and ‘supervising’ the others while they gardened. Their was this pained expression that I remember him getting each time I took out hunks of grass the size of small ponies in his lawn. I was 8 or 9. I took up shoe shopping shortly after and got into track and field. I was actually pretty good at shot put, but my event was the 4x4 and 100 meter dash. Plus I had these really cute Nike cleats! Yeah, I know, kinda hopeless huh? But I did dig in the dirt today! I dug out holes and Monty and Van filled them back up….okay so it was more of an exercise of lets see who can dig fastest but I did get dirty. I think I kinda smell too. I know you’re all feeling bad for laughing at me now aren’t you?
Friday, May 25, 2007
And The Fun Never Ends
What do you get when you mix a yorkie and a lhasapoo? You get Lord Montague. He's a bundle of fun that has the energy of a terrier and the adorable nature of a child wanting to please their over indulgent parents. Yeah, by the time TC and the kids get back from the soccer tournament in Virginia he'll be a dog again. A terribly spoiled with attention dog, but a dog nonetheless. We've managed in two days time to have him outdoors trained and eating at proper times. This is of course what TC was hoping for. They love him. I know they do, but they work, go to school and lead busy lives like most people do. He's only a year old so the lengthy time he has to spend alone is hard on him. He's still a puppy, and he's a high energy lapdog all the way.
My rottie, 3 cats, and he get along great! Well if you count the cats beating him up, getting along great then yeah! If they ever think about giving him up, I'm so taking him. I want another dog. Putting my old girl, a 14 year old rottie, down was hard. What can I say, we're animal lovers around here. Cat's, dogs, birds, fish, mice, and a slew of other exotics have made their way in and out of our home over the years. It would probably drive most people crazy, but for us, it's just daily life. Even the gruff GolfingBiker has melted and sits for long periods of time to play with the pup. It's the cutest sight ever.
So here we are busy as ever. It's Friday so the customers are coming in and out like they usually do on Friday's and the dogs and cats are standing by the door greeting them. Greeting them with all the energy of the energizer bunny on speed. It's a sight to behold. The customers are great and each take their time to greet and of course give treats to the furbabies. The pet's should be fat by weekend's end. I'm just claiming they are absorbing our love, but I'll still have to put them on the 'Mark Cole' diet for pets. Counting kibble is always fun. Well more later possible, it's pee time for the pups.
Okay everyone say it with me in that annoyingly cute voice, "Yeah pee time, pee time!" Yep, single is what I am. Surprised are we now?
My rottie, 3 cats, and he get along great! Well if you count the cats beating him up, getting along great then yeah! If they ever think about giving him up, I'm so taking him. I want another dog. Putting my old girl, a 14 year old rottie, down was hard. What can I say, we're animal lovers around here. Cat's, dogs, birds, fish, mice, and a slew of other exotics have made their way in and out of our home over the years. It would probably drive most people crazy, but for us, it's just daily life. Even the gruff GolfingBiker has melted and sits for long periods of time to play with the pup. It's the cutest sight ever.
So here we are busy as ever. It's Friday so the customers are coming in and out like they usually do on Friday's and the dogs and cats are standing by the door greeting them. Greeting them with all the energy of the energizer bunny on speed. It's a sight to behold. The customers are great and each take their time to greet and of course give treats to the furbabies. The pet's should be fat by weekend's end. I'm just claiming they are absorbing our love, but I'll still have to put them on the 'Mark Cole' diet for pets. Counting kibble is always fun. Well more later possible, it's pee time for the pups.
Okay everyone say it with me in that annoyingly cute voice, "Yeah pee time, pee time!" Yep, single is what I am. Surprised are we now?
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
I'm A Dirty Girl
4:26 PM
That client is, gone. She's also one of the whiniest people on the face of the planet. It has you wanting to rip out her voicebox after only 3 minutes of listening to her speak. Okay that wasn't very nice of me. She probably has these honkin' adenoids that if removed would make her head collapse, so the whiney voice isn't really her fault. See, I can be a complete sweetheart, when I'm not being such a dirty girl that is. So I was thinking about sex. All kinds of it really. Vanilla, chocolate, mocha almond fudge with extra nuts....hrmm, probably hungrier than I thought, still it works. So yeah, I was thinking about sex and then this fire truck went by, and I contemplated the tackiness of waving them on in like some radio tower landing a 747. It was then that it hit me. I completely forget to unload the dishwasher.
Damn.
3:42 PM
Really I shouldn't have to post anything after that title. I should just let you wonder if I'm some sex kitten or simply a woman whom never bathes. Mystery is good for a relationship I hear. You know, them? Yeah they said so. No I don't know 'them' but I'm told there swell! Oh I came to find, that sitting pretty; well your arse falls asleep when you do it properly. Kind of blows, and not in the good $20 dollar hooker kind of way. Speaking of, are $20.00 hookers good? I'm curious is all. Not looking for a career change or anything, cause even sex day in and day out...well yeah it's sounds good, but it's sounding more like "work" and less like a 'fucking great time'. Yep, I’ve got one odd little visual going on now. No; I don’t want to talk about it. Pervs.
Alright, I’m both. Wait that isn’t true either, I bathe. Daily, point in fact. I shave too, use soap and water and other groovy things too. It all started in the shower really. Me and Mr. Loofah were talking quietly and going over a few things. It was great, until I realized he wasn’t buying me dinner, or porn. Life goes on I’m told. Then I managed to get more back yard work done, take two cats to the vet (and no one’s pooped, peed, bitten, vomited, or scratched me! Yeah me.) and make it home with time to spare for more hot and sweaty, gardening. I wore gloves today. Yeah, I had a manicure done yesterday. *G* Kitten has a lovely set of painted claws. (Linkin Park After Dark, is the colour.)
Okay, I’ll bbiab, a client has come in and ‘demands’ my attention. Oh now she’s so going to get it.
That client is, gone. She's also one of the whiniest people on the face of the planet. It has you wanting to rip out her voicebox after only 3 minutes of listening to her speak. Okay that wasn't very nice of me. She probably has these honkin' adenoids that if removed would make her head collapse, so the whiney voice isn't really her fault. See, I can be a complete sweetheart, when I'm not being such a dirty girl that is. So I was thinking about sex. All kinds of it really. Vanilla, chocolate, mocha almond fudge with extra nuts....hrmm, probably hungrier than I thought, still it works. So yeah, I was thinking about sex and then this fire truck went by, and I contemplated the tackiness of waving them on in like some radio tower landing a 747. It was then that it hit me. I completely forget to unload the dishwasher.
Damn.
3:42 PM
Really I shouldn't have to post anything after that title. I should just let you wonder if I'm some sex kitten or simply a woman whom never bathes. Mystery is good for a relationship I hear. You know, them? Yeah they said so. No I don't know 'them' but I'm told there swell! Oh I came to find, that sitting pretty; well your arse falls asleep when you do it properly. Kind of blows, and not in the good $20 dollar hooker kind of way. Speaking of, are $20.00 hookers good? I'm curious is all. Not looking for a career change or anything, cause even sex day in and day out...well yeah it's sounds good, but it's sounding more like "work" and less like a 'fucking great time'. Yep, I’ve got one odd little visual going on now. No; I don’t want to talk about it. Pervs.
Alright, I’m both. Wait that isn’t true either, I bathe. Daily, point in fact. I shave too, use soap and water and other groovy things too. It all started in the shower really. Me and Mr. Loofah were talking quietly and going over a few things. It was great, until I realized he wasn’t buying me dinner, or porn. Life goes on I’m told. Then I managed to get more back yard work done, take two cats to the vet (and no one’s pooped, peed, bitten, vomited, or scratched me! Yeah me.) and make it home with time to spare for more hot and sweaty, gardening. I wore gloves today. Yeah, I had a manicure done yesterday. *G* Kitten has a lovely set of painted claws. (Linkin Park After Dark, is the colour.)
Okay, I’ll bbiab, a client has come in and ‘demands’ my attention. Oh now she’s so going to get it.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Holiday = Work
Victoria day may mean that most businesses are closed but it certainly doesn't mean that we rest. The backyard work is almost complete; well the stone work portion of it that is. Flowers, burning bushes, smoke bushes, blueberry bushes, double french lilacs, and more galore are coming. We have an urban forest in our backyard. It comes with the territory when you run a 'property services' business out of your home. It our place looks like shit why would anyone want to hire us to fix up their property? It's just one of the home run businesses that we have going but it seems that for all my many desires of sitting here and looking pretty, I don't get to do it that often. Today, I got a ton of dirt beneath my well manicured nails. That's right, I got messy. Feel my pain will you?
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