Not Really Strangers.

How terribly sad is it that you spend so much time with one person, getting to know all of their quirks, fears, likes, loves, and dislikes. You almost know them as well as you know yourself and in turn if you're being true to each of you. You allow them to learn all of those same qualities within you. You spend all of this time getting to know everything about them, and then one day nothing. You have to go back to being complete strangers. You can pass one another on the street, still knowing so many intimate details about them but you have to act like they're a total stranger.

Don't Settle

You know what’s worse than bad? Adequate. If something’s bad, you avoid it. If it’s adequate, it’s good enough. Bad things don’t hold you back from finding something great; adequate things do.

Some Never Will Be

Pain happens for a reason. It changes you into who you’re supposed to be, and shows you whose actually there for you. Some people will surprise you, for the good and the bad. Don't get angry with them should they show you who they are. They're simply being who they are. Learn whatever lesson you're meant to learn and keep going.

Dancing Backwards in Platform Sneakers

From today's mailbag:
Evan asks: "I've been lurking in the shadows of your blog for quite some time now. I followed a link of yours here from that other site ;)  I know that you have quite a few tattoos and piercings.  Are there any tattoo's or piercings you regret getting, and do you have; or would you ever get a couples tattoo?"
Hello Evan,

   Welcome and thanks for the follow over.  Now as for my varied tattoo's and piercings. As you know I have many. I at one time had many more piercings, alas practicality required me to remove a few.  My tattoo's all mean something to me. None were done on a whim, although I have had some covered up with new/better done pieces. With that being said I don't actually regret any of my tattoo's or piercings. Each one was right for me in the moment and time I had them done.  My nose piercing which I no longer have is one I'd like to have redone but I've held off doing. I loved it, but apparently in my sleep  kept pulling the damn thing out and there are only so many times one can search the bedding and carpet for the missing stud before accepting it's a lost cause.

   Now as for couples tattoos. Well now that a mixed bag. I long to have a partner I can get the cutesy "couples tattoo" with, alas I've apparently not met the one I can do so with. I think that it's really a personal choice kind of thing. My only advice to anyone thinking of doing so s this: Don't do the name thing. I really can't stress this enough. Find an image, create an image that means something to you both and go with that. Even the best marriages and relationships can unrecoverable times. I certainly can't nor will I speak for others, but having to see an ex's name on my partner isn't a turn on. Plus I don't find it personal enough. I really like something far more symbolic and well thought out. That being said I do have a tattoo I got so very long ago that is representative of a relationship I had and meant and still means a great deal to me. No one looking at it would have any idea it's representative of another person, it only means something to he and I.

Choose something as unique to you as a snowflake is to the world.

I hope this helps :)

Snowflakes

In Love With Love

Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?

Me: I am in love with the notion of being in love! As such, I romanticize people to the point that I put them on a pedestal that, while not impossible to act in accordance with, is not a realistic measure of that person’s moral or ethical inclinations. This romanticized view of the person before me tends to lead to a short, intense period of infatuation mistaken for love, which ends abruptly and painfully when this person does something that does not live up to the standards I've set in place not for them, but for the person I've constructed them to be in my head. Morals and standards that I hold very dear too. While this was once followed by a long period of self-doubt, self-hatred, and an unshakeable insecurity about all my other relationships. I have come to recognize the cycle and while at times I do everything I can to avoid it, other times I embrace its passionate whirlwind. Knowing and accepting that the reality of the situation will change and thus look for nothing more within the other than I myself am willing to give.

Be wise

The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really kind. And being thoughtful. And being generous. And being really smart. Everything else is background noise. I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it. Be smart. Be thoughtful. Be generous.

Humankind.

Be both.

I choose me

Most of my life has been spent trying to silence myself. Trying to become softer. Quieter. Less out there. Less opinionated. Less demanding. Less me. Because I didn’t want to intimidate other. I didn't want to make them uncomfortable. I didn't want to challenge them to change who they were. So I changed to accommodate their needs. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. For years, I put others first.

But I’m tired of diminishing my inner light, and I’m done shying away. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to makes others comfortable. I am a worthwhile human being. Other people's views of who I am, do not hold value over who I know I am. I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. With or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and embrace my truth. Even if it makes people uncomfortable. Even if it makes them angry. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse not to shine. I choose to own my space. I choose to honour my soul. I choose to give myself permission to have my needs met. I choose to makeself  a priority.

I choose me.