Less Important than You Think

Delusional, disproportionate, funny, sometimes quite sad, and  really far less important than you seem to think. I've never been impressed by a penis.  They may be different colours and sizes, and yes sometimes slight shape differences; but f you've seen one, you really have seen them all.  Yes I feel the same way about breasts too. Unless they're somehow horribly disfigured. in which case, I am sorry for your perceived pain.

This is what I've learnt, over the years. Guys are the ones who care about giant cocks.

Not women, guys.

Especially the straight ones. If I had a dollar for every picture of a penis I was sent with the askance of, "do you like it?" Oh the dog rescue site I would have! Maybe I should charge to rate penises? Too subjective perhaps. I certainly know what I like, and I know my silly prejudices attached to what I've coined as "Holy flying penises" to label the vast amount of dick pics hitting my inbox and just as rapidly hitting my trash bin.

I find sensuality, intelligence, wit, charm, kindness, and confidence sexy. The ability to hold an actual conversation; priceless. My first thought when a dick pic hits my inbox is, "so his dick is his whole world." As such he must be shallow, insecure, needy, and have mommy issues up the ass. Who has time for that? This might be an unfair amount of judgement, I however will stand by it. Experience is a fantastic teacher.

I understand porn's fascination with giant members because it's a visual medium and, let's face it, a dumb one. Giant cock is the quickest shorthand for virility. Big muscles = big strength, so why shouldn't big penis = tremendous power to satisfy? Men primarily, with the exception of some...loose women. Tend to be the ones who think a penis needs to be big to be satisfying. As stated, there are a few size queens out there, but as a rule women are way less picky about size as long as the owner of said penis learns to use it correctly. That's actually the heart of the problem - men assume that more penis automatically means more satisfaction, when in fact it has very little to do with it. I've known more than one woman who's been initially delighted to discover that she's with a larger man, only to realize to her disappointment that he thinks that all he has to do is be large.

I think the reason straight guys like enormous penises, apart from the whole bigger = better, more powerful and more potent thing, is that it's an easy answer the unanswerable question: what do women want? The real answer is too hard. Women want you to be independent but emotionally available. They want you to be attached but not smothering. They want time and attention, and also some time alone. They want you to grow and change with them. They want you to be all kinds of things, and it's going to be a different list for every woman, and that list is always subject to change without notice. For some men, and many of our regular porn addicts, I think, fall into this category, the answer is that women want you to change that glaring personality flaw and learn to talk to them like a human being. Maybe they want you to take a damned shower.

Next.

While you were wasting your time being productive ...

A mystery was solved for me this past week, thanks to TheFace.  I was forced to listen to Led Zeppelin in seventh grade. Yes it was all thanks to a boy. A boy I thought was super cute, hence the listening as though my young ears were not screaming out for it all to end. Since then, I have always been a little confused as to who this "back door man" character really is.

In my innocence, I thought it was just a man who had a home like mine. Where there was no walk way to the front door, thus he just had to enter in through the back. Yes it was cute how literal my mind was way back then. Then, as I grew older and became the sexually aware woman that I am today, I thought it was a euphemism for anal sex, or being gay.

Now, I know that a back door man is someone you're not supposed to sleep with. He has to sneak in. Through the back door. Literally. Or else he can't be considered a back door man. A bedroom window man, perhaps? A sneak away to a seedy motel man maybe, but before I digress into babble mode...

Which raises a few questions for me. I live in a basement apartment, my door is the back door. If I leave my door unlocked, would I get my very own back door man? If I put a sign on the front door reading,"Back door found in the back of the house", would I increase my chances of getting my own back door man? Should I leave out some milk and cookies? Or are all the enter in to my home, be they partners or not; by proxy backdoor men?

I think I need sleep.

Bathe in your humanity

The very room where we stood silenced and shocked almost exploded with the weight of our electric magnitude. We spend our entire lives seeking what we once knew.. through addiction, through isolation, through our attachments, through our actions. We know a pleasure beyond our greatest wish exists and mistakenly use human tools to recover this piece. Our entire lives seem dedicated to this search. The suffering comes from linear thinking that we can use earthly devices to replace this need. If you reach deep enough you will find the faith to wait. The simplest thing to do is your hardest test. Bathe in your humanity and allow love to find you.

Techknowledgey

A.I. machines to follow you around and track where you go. There to turn on your lights, set your alarms, run your home and life....

We've all seen Terminator, iRobot, Resident Evil and those scenarios turned out so well.

The human race is doomed.

Bring It On 2016!

I'm ready.

I’m proud to call myself a woman who’s far more than the sum of her parts, or the trials, tribulations, or successes I've faced.  I rarely fit the  mold other's or even that which society often places before or upon me.  The stressful nature of the life I’ve been blessed with allows me to understand, empathize and help others in a variety of ways, though most notably and often times by simply stating those things which they tend to overlook within themselves. My my liquidesque nature allows me, to understand them even when I'm nothing like them.

Judgement from other's while accepted is vastly ignored. It won’t be the first time I’ve heard- “you’re foolish!”, or “that’s insane”. That’s life. I’m a woman, with flaws and passions I choose not to label or run away from. Who am I? That's a good question. Not sure I have the complete answer to that yet.  Though I am a mother to two amazing adult biological children, a slew of other kids whom have chosen to call me "momma", 2 crazy dogs, a slew of fosters, 2 cats, and 1 spoiled fish. I’ve been a business owner, a cheerleader, an advocate, a rescuer, a wife once upon a time, a daughter, a sister, a joker, a lover, a cheater, a mistress, a random blogger, a friend, a bitch, and so many other labels that din't actually fit on a box or in some snappy headline.

As a wife I withered to a nonexistence that left me longing to run wild and free.  As a sister, daughter, granddaughter, and auntie, I've learn I do best at loving them from afar. As a best friend, I am always there in heart if not in person, and those who've suck with me through thick and thin know beyond any shadow of doubt that my loyalty knows no bounds. I’m a decent cook, baker, and pastry chef. I’m a housekeeper, with a hose that always needs cleaning. I’m an accountant. I’m a secretary. I’m a social planner. I’m an avid walker, and solitary witch. The list goes on and on much like my hips and ass…
The best and worst part about wearing so many different titles, is that I don’t always need or get a break. I just need to shift titles and adjust the hat to the adventure. I realize now, the reason why I was given this multi-rolled life. Being the fiery Sagittarius that I am, I’m a firefly. A light in the darkness for some, a siren song to others. I smirk in the face of adversity. I’m unable to do anything in extreme because I’m always being pulled in 2 opposing directions. My house is what you might call a frat-house, meets dog kennel. I have organized stacks throughout- whether it be laundry, movies, purses, leashes, or paperwork I’m attempting to clear up.

I live my life with passion. There is no in-between with me. It drives many crazy and thus they need to take me in small doses. I'm very okay with that. I accept and judge everyone on the bases of their own merits. I've lusted after one man for 20+ years and know it will never be anything more than that, it makes me smile. I remember my first passionate kiss 28 years ago and have always measured each kiss there after by that standard. I don’t have the luxury of a vacations, or day spas. I don’t have the luxury of time off. It isn't other's idea of freedom, but it forces me learn, stretch, and grow each day.

Even more beautiful is the clarity this gives me in seeing that I have so much to be thankful for. Even though I am alone, and while I can be lonely from time to time; I can just as easily feel completely alone when surrounded by a room full of people. Yet there are those moments. Those moments of perfect togetherness. Clarity that encase me like a soothing balm reminding me that I don’t need to be in control of everything, but self control is always something I strive for. Living a life of passion does require a reality check from time to time after all. To just breath.

Each challenge that I face, and each fire that I put out, be it of my own creation or created by others, I have this army of self empowered advocating women whom a simply a text away. Plus I have porn. Life will continue to set me up with many more challenges and growth opportunities. Some I will face alone and other's I will have no choice but to reach out to my amazing social Amazons. I am so privilege to have such a vast and unique network of fantastic humans I'm able to share my journey with.

I hope you’re all still with me!  Because I say, bring it on.

The disturbing reality of dog fighting

I have a few passions in life.  Animal rescue is one of them.  The greatest of them.  I believe in speaking for those who do not have a voice of their own and fighting for them so they are no longer forced to fight.  I have cared for and loved a great many breeds in my many years.  Some as family members, some as fosters, and some as ones whom simply needed an advocate.  To me it's time well spent with so many rich rewards and an endless amount of love.  There are also quite a few tears.  Today I share one such soul whom needs all of our help and love:

Repost from @bully_ink  @newyorkbullycrew -
 This is the disturbing reality of dog fighting. Our sweet Romeo has been picked up from a 24hr vet in Yonkers, NY and he is currently on his way to Grady Animal Hospital. They are waiting patiently for him to arrive so they can analyze his injuries and give him the medical attention that he needs. 🐾

 To donate to the care of Romeo or any of our rescue dogs, please go to the direct YouCaring link in our bio or by going to our website at nybullycrew.org and clicking on the Donate option. You can also go to PayPal and choose a one-time or recurring monthly donation option (not from a mobile device) and make the payment to newyorkbullycrew@gmail.com.

 You can shop any of our #NYBCgear at nybullycrew.org where all proceeds go right back to our rescue dogs.#NewYorkBullyCrew #NybcMafia #Nybc 👉FOLLOW BULLY_INK ON SNAPCHAT & FB 👍

Candles Burning Bright

So we have new neighbours, Dick and Jane we shall call them. They stared at me like I was the crazy neighbour they will one day blog about.  Which we all know may have some truth to, if I am to be honest.  They stood by there back sliding door with looks of bewilderment upon their faces when I took my adorable Monster out for his backyard session.  To be fair he is tiny and it was dark so they, I am certain didn't see anything but some strange woman standing in the backyard with a flashlight seemingly searching for nothing whilst talking to herself.

I was hoping when I took my land shark, Mako out that they wouldn't be standing around staring as Mako can be difficult with new people. (more on that later)  I got my wish, and so much more.  Dick and Jane were certainly not standing and staring at anyone.  All of the lights in the house were off, except those brightly burning candles in the bedroom if all indications are to be held as true.  It was exceptionally dark and I did my best to keep Mako quiet as it was around the midnight hour and most were sleeping.  I do try to be a respectful neighbour.

This evening however, I couldn't help myself.  I yelled hello to Dick and Jane as there bedroom window was open and they were clearly wide awake.  I, being a good neighbour offered them curtains.  Curtains, like fences are good!  Always leave room in your budget for curtains!  However I believe Dick was too busy learning to snorkel while Jane repeated, often, and loudly explicit directions to be ready for our midnight  meet and greet.

Mako didn't growl at them so I see it as a win.