I've know Thumbelina a long damn time. She's what one might call an idiot sivant. She's got idea upon ideas, and the means to back them but often times gets lost in the bigger picture and loses sight of those tedious little slices of reality that demand attention. So now she wants to buy a quaint house, make it a home. Put down roots and all that rot. Rot..that seems rather funny now. Yet once again she was so excited to grab hold of the perfect little slice of new found "simple" life that a few of the not so small details slipped past her at an alarming rate. There I stood helping her understand, things the plumber said and I did my best not to choke. Direct quotes will be impossible as I had a second job of also keeping Thumbelina focused and her glass filled with wine, so there are portions that were nothing more than a horrific background soundtrack. Great Odin and the friends I keep...wonders will never cease.
"....broken sewer lines...."
".....dig up yard......"
".....improper drainage....."
"......soaking and rotting the foundation....."
".....swelling roots filling your pipe...." She grins, I roll my eyes.
".....totally faulty plumbing system....."
".....wait a minute, Thumbelina? I think I saw you...In that video. I was you, wasn't it!"
".....not sure how much it will cost....."
".....to put it bluntly Thumbelina, you're fuct with a capital T....and nothing like in the video." She rolls her eyes and I grin.
Thank Bacchus for wine and instagram and her massive bank account because this is the worst news she's gotten in like, 6 years when one of her breasts decided to droop. I even cried about it, while she just nodded and drank steadily. Maybe I gave her too much wine.
The plumbers name was Walter. I wish Walter had a speech impediment because that would have softened the ass raping...."
I must be tired or drunk off the fumes of her wine. Because by the gods that seems so funny right now.
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