It will never cease to amaze me. Some people, they can say the littlest things. Something that may seem so insignificant, but it changes everything forever. Changes they way you feel about them. Forever. Little words, sentences; that can either hurt or heal. Either way it changes everything. How you see them; feel about them. Forever. Even if they don't know it. Most of the time they don't seem to realize it and I Think that's the saddest part of all.
I remember everything from the day Pete went from someone I cared about to someone I couldn't even stand to look at. Every sight, sound, smell, taste. The raw lurch of my gut, as he stated the racist comment with such simplicity and ease. It wasn't harsh are cruely stated. It would have seemed more normal? If he had been nasty. It really was the ease and commonality with which he said it that cut me to the core. It was in that split second that I knew I hated him and everything he believed in.
The very sight of him made my stomach turn. The moment he spoke again I wanted to rip his tongue from his mouth. He reached out to take my hand with a smile on his face and all I could think was, "if he touches me I will scream. I'll scream until my voice runs out and them; I'll kill him." The next morning I deleted him from my life for good, and never looked back. Not until now, and the memory of it still makes me stomach turn.
Such a little thing, was so massive in its consequences.
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