Over-praising

These are actual compliments

Compliments are great.  Who doesn't like a meaningful compliment.  From the simple, "you look lovely, or you smell great," to the more in depth, "Great job, you really pulled that all together and present a well thought out argument."  Both of course make me smile, but having someone recognize my brains over my body gives me a little extra happy.  I never understood those whom couldn't take a compliment.  How hard is it to smile and say "thank you."  Just as kisses aren't contracts, neither are compliments.  So then if I enjoy a well made compliment, what's wrong with someone doting that attention upon you all the time?  and why do I become so blase when men compliment me on having, "a great ass!"  

The simple answer is, nothing if the compliment is genuine and based in truth.  When praising someone is used as manipulation however, it is not only annoying, it is destructive.  Being recognized for what you do, or who you are; well it just feels good.  The dark side to it comes into play when the one offering the praise is doing so as verbal bribery.  We've all encountered those so insecure that they feel the only way to garner your attention is to kiss your ass.  That jag gets old fast.  Much the same does the one attempting to butter you up, be it for personal or business gain.  The complimenting in those cases is all about manipulating you to do what they want.  One of my suitors whom was well aware of my general dislike of high heels.  For me, they are torture devices that unless made specifically for my "dancers feet" cause excruciating pain.  I would much rather be comfortable than force myself into another ideal of a beauty standard.  Yet here came Mr. Compliment, with his, "Babe you look so sexy in those 6 inch heels.  God you're beautiful when you wear them for me."  That compliment much like the "you've a great ass," which more often than not is followed up with "I'd like to be behind you right now."  Has absolutely nothing to do with actually complimenting me.  It is nothing more than a manipulator used as a jumping point for the other to tell me what it is the want and desire. 

Now to my mind, I'm beautiful regardless as the footwear, makeup, or clothing style I choose.  So this tactic does nothing for me.  And my ass, large as it may be in comparison to another's; is not different from anyone else's in it functionality.  I am not insecure, but for those whom are and require compliments to feel good about themselves will sadly fall for such ploys.  I'd rather eat dirt.  Then there are those that use praise or compliments to condition another.  Parents, boyfriends, bosses, and teachers alike and so many others can fall into this category.  In the interest of keeping it very simple (overly so)  praise as a conditioning tool is widely seen as abuse.  Many of these so-called “caregivers types” use praise not to raise self esteem, encourage kinder, more considerate or virtuous behavior, but to reinforce conduct that simply makes their victims more compliant, pliable, or easier to deal with.  So, if the complimentee's needs represent a nuisance or inconvenience for them, they often—through highly selective, manipulative praise—systematically encourage that person to refrain from sharing or asserting their thoughts, feelings, wants or needs.  Indirectly, they may cause the individual to feel that they’re good or worthy only when they’re focusing exclusively on the partner's needs.  Treating anyone in this manner warrants being seen as psychologically abusive, for seeking to mold anyone to conform to the another's selfish desires forces the victim to renounce their own quite legitimate wants and needs—unless, that is, they flat out rebel against such dictates, which, regrettably, has its own serious mental and emotional repercussions.

These are not: They have nothing to do with who or what the person is.