I like to whistle while I work. Not really, but I do like a tune to groove too; upbeat and demanding I hustle my buns. It's a workable system. Now while I am not permitted to wear headphones while I work there are no clearly defined rules against bluetooth speakers. Thus my dilemma of how to keep motivated and make even greater numbers was solved, many gadget driven moons ago. Ah my love of technology knows few bounds.
Last night however I did the unthinkable. I worked sans music. It wasn't my best idea ever. Oh I still hustled. I even made damn fine numbers. I also mind you allowed those niggling thoughts in to take center stage, that my music more often than not drowns out. It's never pretty when I get this way. There I was hustling in and out of my cell when this thought popped clear as day into my head. "Pirates pet name that I alone call him, has been the butt of many a joke; and yet here are two people I'm perturbed with using it like its all theirs to use. well I'm never using it again." My brain and angry heart shouted.
Thus began the next 4 hours of brain drain. It's not a pet name that anyone else would use for him. It was something private and quite personal. It meant something to he and I, and while a few others were privy to it; I never dreamed they would use it. in exceedingly simplistic terms, it's like ones toothbrush. It's there, we all use one. We know most if not everyone else has one, but would we walk into another's personal space and just use it? Well, no. it's an invasion of personal space and even another's intimacy. The thought of these two specific people using something so personal and special to me, made my stomach turn and the bile rise in my throat.
It bothers me far more than I like to admit. Even to myself. What is this feeling? Jealousy? Discomfort? Annoyance? Pride? Possessiveness? It's all very unclear to me, as I am not one to feel those emotions. I dislike it muchly!
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