If you ever want to do a cross-sectional study on the whole of humanity, shop at Walmart on a rainy, Saturday afternoon. The place is just a petri dish of unfathomable style, smells, and behaviours. The first thing I have to say is that if you think just rolling out of bed and sauntering your ass on in to Walmart, rethink that idea. Is it really too much to ask that before you wade into the throngs of humanity to load up on bargain potatoes and face cream that you actually embrace soap and water?
The second thing I have to say is that you should do an attitude check before your ass makes it to any bargain bin in the store. If you look like you just stepped out of Holt Renfrew, and have the attitude of "my shit don't stink" I think your yuppie ass needs to turn back around and respectfully drive to a place you, unlike the rest of the Walmartians, can afford.
The last thing I have to say is that Walmartian children are completely out of their god damn minds. I want this. I want that. Me me me. These pants look like a good place to wipe my ass. They don't want to make money off of these picture frames so I'll just break em. I have to pottie. I have to poo. Mommie I hate you. Daddy you suck. Where is my toy? What the hell happened to teaching your kids manners? Enough with the time-outs and spank that child.
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