Bring on Armageddon, I'm ready.

Who thought remakimg the classic Frogger game was a good idea? Just stop that shit now, mmkay? I am one of the lucky ones who as a kid had the tabletop game of frogger sold via the Sears catalogue. It took 4 D cell  batteries and made my life bliss. I also had the Pacman version too. Yeah I was a gaming nerd as a kid, who still played outside and climbed trees. When I wasn't locked away in a ballet studio for hours on end. How I loved to dance.

Dancing, gaming, and running wild and free outdoors was the most fun anyone in the history of the world could have ever. At least thats my take on it all. The point is I once had mad skills baby. And the other point is that my asson has always been phat and fantastic. So, anyway, I've been loafing between bouts of infuriating chaos. I'm still working full time, but my drive to be a super-d-dooper sales associate is pretty much nonexistent.

Management are morons, which is of little surprise. This is often the case of big xyz corporations who transition from caringredients to cash making. Thus I've been dreamily emailing out a few thousand resumes and generally dreaming of marrying rich, and being a spoiled trophy wife with lots of plastic surgery and porcelain veneers.  We all have our dreams. I don't actually want a boat load of plastic surgery but a tummy tuck and a boob lift might be nice. A personal trainer and someone who will wash my windows might be nice too.

So, when did summer coming to an end happen?! As soon as I get out of work, I just want to hike in the woods and enjoy what's left of this season. Dogs by my side soaking in the sights, sounds, and smells that the gods have graced us with. Now that you're all a swoon with imagry of sun and trees; and dogs ambling merrily along as furry woodland creatures scamper about preparing for winter; while you begin to think I've accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. While you heathens turn toward your devil-loving and false-prophet following leaders; shaking your heads at my glorious and shiny soul. Allow me to remind you just who will be the one laughing on that exciting day when the world ends.

I will be. But admittedly I am an odd duck, plus I'm a ginger thus all your bass souls belong to me.  Some guy nobody except some cult-followers cares about says the world is going to end. I didn't care to read further to find outhe when. I got bored and someone who possibly belongs to one of those cults sent me a picture of their foreskin so I just shut my eyes and wentertainment to my happy place for a bit. Still, I've prepared myself by regrowning a new hymen for my born again virgin status and making pamphlets on the importance of removing ones foreskin for those men who've yet to get with the program.

Then I wrote a list of things I might like come doomsday and started checking off the items. I read my survival guid to the apocalypse, shaved my head, painted my toenails and douched my vagina with mint water. Those of us who get taken to our heaven promise not to judge you while we're having an orgy with each other, and drinking all the wine. We would never do that. We're not perfect, we're just saved from boredom.

Of course by "we," we don't mean to include "you." In case you were wondering. However if you'd like to subscribe and follow me you too could be saved! Just drop me a message, and tell me what wine you prefer. We're completely civilized here on the road to salvation after all.

Bring on the Armageddon!