Knowledge is power.

Power sometimes hurts.

Alas, knowledge is power; even when the knowledge you gain isn't what you wanted to discover. I will admit that when I began my quest for Mako's story, not just the parts I knew but the time between. The months that I was denied her, no matter how desperately I pleaded the case she would be better off with me. That I could give her what she needed, love, structure, socialization, a home. In my search for answers I got more than I had bargained for. As is often is with the truth, it made me sad and it made me damn angry.

The truth however does aid me in understanding her driving force in certain situations. Like why does she seek out smaller animals? What created such a strong prey drive within her? And of course why is she always "in the zone" and territorial?  Former neighbours have been very helpful and forthcoming in helping me help her. I am her 3rd owner it would seem. The 2nd owner was less than kind. Even less than her first. A failed forced breeding, was turned to conditioning on a treadmill, bite training, and heightened aggression. Aggression that was met with aggression to the point of finally backfiring and having her turn on her abuser. An abuser whom then demanded his money back angry that she "wasn't any good for anything." The only kind though I can remotely muster for him is "thankfully he didn't kill her."

There's a great deal I'd love to scream to the heavens, so angry that it ever came to that. Wishing and praying for karma to visit those before me in the most violent of manners. I fought for her daily. Wishing, praying, begging, and pleading for her to be with me. Why couldn't they accept that she would have been better with me from the start? Why do humans have to be so fucking wretchedly evil? To say I hate them doesn't even begin to touch upon the rage I house in that well compartmentalized section of my head and heart I never allow anyone into. It's an ugly place and not suited well for polite company at all.

Then I see her. See where she started, where she was, and where she is now. We've got years of work ahead of us. It won't be easy, but what of great value ever is? So we're going to live in the moment. The future will still be there tomorrow. The now is where we will be, moving forward together. Building trust, and embracing every good moment with a smile and positivity. I can offer her nothing less. She's earned it, and so much more. She isn't the dog she should be. She will never again be that pup in the picture. But then again she also isn't yet the dog she is going to be. I have faith in her. I will not give up on her. How could I? She's never once given up on me.

The support from our friends is immeasurable. Every positive thought, cheer, and especially those unflinching friends who meet her with nothing but love and acceptance. You give not just her hope for humankind, but me too.

Thank you.