Gruff Good Byes and Spolied Kids

Lord Montague went home this evening. TGB ruffed up his fur and said a harsh good bye before heading into the house. Yeah, he's so stern and hard-core. I swear he's turning into the biggest softie. I know he was hoping that Monty would stay with us for good, but that just isn’t how it works big guy. After dropping Lord Montague and TMQ off at his dad’s I headed home for a nap. I forgot how much extra energy it takes having my son around. I can’t complain about it, hell I’m the direct reason he is the way he is. But damn give me a 2 week break and I, well okay I got a bit soft. Honestly it’s something we joke around about. To the rest of the world, TMQ is head-strong, determined, mature, the go-to-guy of getting the job done. He is all that, and more. Yet the minute he’s home with me he’s also a big baby. “Mommy….” He begins while grinning like a fool from the front deck. “What do you want kid? And be advised the answer is no.” I artfully begin. (Yeah, go me) “Mommy, would you make me popcorn…you know with the real butter and the sea salt….blah blah” I do the arched eyebrow and then laugh. “I love you Mommy…” Yeah so we all know what I was doing 3 minutes later right? I know I’m such a boob.

I'm Off

Yep I’ve actually got this Saturday off and where did I spend the day? In the mall. So we were only there for like an hour and a half, but that’s an hour and a half of my life I’m never getting back. As I’ve mentioned before TMQ and I usually end up at the mall for an hour or so for some mother/son time on Saturdays. It’s our weird little thing where we laugh and look at everything. Huge props to the guy’s at EB Games in the Upper Canada Mall. They rock so completely. They pretty well know us by name and expect us in there every other Saturday. Yeah, were a gaming family. The kids and yes even Hyacinth likes the newer games and all those charming 3D graphics, I however am the old school Atari and table top game girl. Give me PacMan, Frogger, Asteroids, Centipede, Missile Command, Pong, Super Breakout, or Tempest. The kids just laugh at me and rope me into trying to kill stuff on DOOM and God of War. Yeah, Cupcake of Doom; that’s me.

He's Here!

Yes! My boy is home again. What can I say, my life revolves around my kids. So there no little and more than capable of tending too many of their own requirements, but I‘ll let you in on a little secret. I love spoiling them. They don’t abuse it, and they don’t take me for granted. I’m lucky. I honestly like them. If they weren’t my kids, I’d actually like them as friends. They are however my kids, and of course far from perfect. So while I like them, we’re not friends. I’m friendly and yeah, spoil them when the occasion arises, but; they push their luck and they’ll face mommy’s wrath. Even when you spoil your kids, you’ve got to be the parent. Whimsy and I are looking at t-shirts for her. She likes the happy bunny one that say’s, “I have a dream… and in it something eats my brother.” Yeah that’s her to a T. Still they are doing this whole getting along thing that has me smiling and just kind of freaking out a bit. When they get along so well it makes me wonder if they aren’t actually sitting up there plotting on how to overthrow the parental unit. Ah well, they can try. Yes, they can, try. *Evil Grin*

Waste Time Wisely

Watch Snakes on a Plane, Block Party, Pan's Labyrinth, do your nails, give yourself a pedicure. If you're a little more ambitious you could always organize your g-string drawer. I did that yesterday evening so I’m not going to bother doing it today. Am I the only one here that has at least 30 pairs of underwear? Okay the ladies will understand this… You have to have good and ‘the other’ underwear. You know those ones we only wear on those ‘not so fresh days’. Okay just seeing that typed out makes me laugh. But just so you guys understand, we cannot, I repeat.. We. Cannot. Turn our g-strings inside out, so of course we have to have a few more.

Yeah I'll admit it, I love bad B rated films.

Called In

It was to be my day off but I have to cover for SkyGirl. She deserves the day off with the crazy hours she's been working. She's trying to complete her Reiki Master training and it's taking it's toll on her. She's dedicated and fantastic at what she does, but right now I think it's safe to say that she's a great big ball of chaotic energy. Yeah, I need to ground her.

He Talks to His Cookies

6:23 PM
Pirate's of The Caribbean at World's End was great. 2 hours and 45 minutes of action, laughter, and some decidedly good adult humor. The verdict is in and Jack Sparrow has the largest telescope. It's big and manly, and....Sigh...rugged manly Pirates. Oh unhygienic world never looked so good; well until everyone smiles. Nuugghh.

Earlier...
Yeah, so a few days have gone by since Lord Montague arrived here and we've managed to make him completely nuts. He's got his cookie and he's barking at it like it should answer him. Maybe that shower messed with his poor puppy brain cells. Okay it wasn't so much his shower as it was mine, but he seemed to enjoy it just the same. I being the twit who was so not awake at 'ohmyfuckinggodsitsearly o'clock' hopped into the shower. I happened to forget to close the door in my less than heightened state of awareness and low and behold Lord Montague jumped into the shower with me. I have come to find that a cold wet nose pressed up against the back of your calf when not expecting it can be rather...jarring? It's almost as good as an espresso first thing.

Eyes wide and a quick look over my shoulder confirmed that I had not suddenly started doing drugs and that the dang dog was just so happy to be happy that he came to tell me all about it. So there I am slipping and sliding, while he is slipping and sliding around the damn tub. Conditioner on the tub floor is both a danger to dogs and humans alike. The cats sought refuge anywhere but the bathroom as the shrieking continued. I cannot honestly say f it was myself or the dog, though I will claim in public should this ever get out that it was clearly the dog. Finally throwing a towel over him, I got the situation completely under control… Yeah, right. Still we’re both clean and smelling fabulously like Biolage conditioner. His hair is fantastic and my coat is as shiny as ever, or so the ever so bloody helpful TGB states. Nursing homes that abuse the old is where he and my mother are going you know.

Actually, my hair looks great. I’m having a decent arse day; no really these pants, new ones; are just lifting the old girl up to a point JLO should be green with envy, and I think I’m taking Whimsy to the movies. We’ll have a bit of a girl’s day and go see Pirates and lusty wenches. Yeah so that’s my dream but it’s a good one! I’m kind of surprised and pleased to say that I managed to get Whimsy’s hair combed out after her, uneventful, shower in less than two hours. It’s always a bit of a fuss to do her hair in between relaxing treatments. Her fro is…wild. It has a life all it’s own and has decided to take all it’s frustrations on me. Not her fault. It’s just genetics. I’ve always had curly hair, and her father of course had a fro, if he let his hair grow; so she was never going to get that perfectly straight hair. Thankfully she’s accepted that. For a long while she wanted to have “white girl hair” much to my dismay. When it finally sunk in that I, her mother, a ‘white girl’ didn’t have straight hair, she slowly began to accept that curly hair was okay. Bothersome at times, but okay. She’s asked and I’ve said okay, to trying out the Japanese retexturizing on her hair, but I’ve yet to set aside enough time to complete the lengthy process. It’s not all that difficult, it just has a few steps that have to be followed to the letter and with her hair being as thick as it is, will take a little longer than it would for average curly hair. Okay I’ll probably write more later, but for now it’s time to ‘bounce’ as she claims. There be pirates awaitin’ our arrival! By the gods I love my little nerd.

I'm Such A....

Wuss? So Lord Montague is now the proud owner of a...Doggie car seat. Yeah, I know I'm rather pathetic when it comes to my pets. My kids sucked on the soothers that fell directly onto the floor but the dog gets a car seat. Stop laughing! It's with good reason that he has a car seat. He's cute. Okay that's just one of the really, really, good reasons. But seriously, if you travel with your pet's in your cars or trucks they should be wearing a seat belt. My rottweiler has what is called a seat belt harness, for he's way too big for a doggie seat at 130 pounds. Lord Montague is but 8 pounds so just strapping him in with a harness is a bit more dangerous, plus I fuss. Yeah, there it is I admitted it; My name is Jade and I'm a fuss fart. Once again I say, stop laughing at me! I'm so going to pout.

Long story short. We worked a road side accident. Drunk driver hit a family van and killed the parents. The 5 ear old didn't have a mark on him. Would have survived, except the family dog was in the car and not belted in. Dog became a projectile and snapped the 5 year olds neck. My father, TheGolfingBiker and I had to go and collect the equally dead dog and wrap him up. It was something neither of us wish to see happen again. The big gruff guy went out and bought 8 dog seat belt harnesses and walked along our street handing them out to our friends for their pets. I've never seen him cry like that before. It was a sobering experience. Make sure you all get to where you're going safe and sound. Everyone in the car wear a seat belt. I may not know you but I'd miss you just the same if something happened to you. Please.

Now let's move onto something lighter. I shopped for golf balls. What the hell was I doing shopping for golf balls? I haven't a friggin’ clue. Ever seen two women with absolutely lost looks on their faces when a third woman say's, "hey are these golf balls any good?" Umm they're balls and it says golf on the front of it. That pretty well sums up my knowledge of the golf ball enlightenment. I do however know that when I got TGB, "The Big Berthas" which are clubs, that the sight of them can render a grown man speechless. *Shurggs* They said golf on the sign, and I knew they were clubs for hitting the balls. He deserved a treat and I figured what the hell. He'll appreciate the sentiment. Okay so he was more than just appreciative, but once again, me...golfing? Not so much. My family golf’s, I, well my total golfing experience consisted of being taught by my grandfather. My very patient grandfather whom begged and pleaded with me to put the clubs down and just go back to doing my nails, and ‘supervising’ the others while they gardened. Their was this pained expression that I remember him getting each time I took out hunks of grass the size of small ponies in his lawn. I was 8 or 9. I took up shoe shopping shortly after and got into track and field. I was actually pretty good at shot put, but my event was the 4x4 and 100 meter dash. Plus I had these really cute Nike cleats! Yeah, I know, kinda hopeless huh? But I did dig in the dirt today! I dug out holes and Monty and Van filled them back up….okay so it was more of an exercise of lets see who can dig fastest but I did get dirty. I think I kinda smell too. I know you’re all feeling bad for laughing at me now aren’t you?

And The Fun Never Ends

What do you get when you mix a yorkie and a lhasapoo? You get Lord Montague. He's a bundle of fun that has the energy of a terrier and the adorable nature of a child wanting to please their over indulgent parents. Yeah, by the time TC and the kids get back from the soccer tournament in Virginia he'll be a dog again. A terribly spoiled with attention dog, but a dog nonetheless. We've managed in two days time to have him outdoors trained and eating at proper times. This is of course what TC was hoping for. They love him. I know they do, but they work, go to school and lead busy lives like most people do. He's only a year old so the lengthy time he has to spend alone is hard on him. He's still a puppy, and he's a high energy lapdog all the way.

My rottie, 3 cats, and he get along great! Well if you count the cats beating him up, getting along great then yeah! If they ever think about giving him up, I'm so taking him. I want another dog. Putting my old girl, a 14 year old rottie, down was hard. What can I say, we're animal lovers around here. Cat's, dogs, birds, fish, mice, and a slew of other exotics have made their way in and out of our home over the years. It would probably drive most people crazy, but for us, it's just daily life. Even the gruff GolfingBiker has melted and sits for long periods of time to play with the pup. It's the cutest sight ever.

So here we are busy as ever. It's Friday so the customers are coming in and out like they usually do on Friday's and the dogs and cats are standing by the door greeting them. Greeting them with all the energy of the energizer bunny on speed. It's a sight to behold. The customers are great and each take their time to greet and of course give treats to the furbabies. The pet's should be fat by weekend's end. I'm just claiming they are absorbing our love, but I'll still have to put them on the 'Mark Cole' diet for pets. Counting kibble is always fun. Well more later possible, it's pee time for the pups.

Okay everyone say it with me in that annoyingly cute voice, "Yeah pee time, pee time!" Yep, single is what I am. Surprised are we now?

I'm A Dirty Girl

4:26 PM
That client is, gone. She's also one of the whiniest people on the face of the planet. It has you wanting to rip out her voicebox after only 3 minutes of listening to her speak. Okay that wasn't very nice of me. She probably has these honkin' adenoids that if removed would make her head collapse, so the whiney voice isn't really her fault. See, I can be a complete sweetheart, when I'm not being such a dirty girl that is. So I was thinking about sex. All kinds of it really. Vanilla, chocolate, mocha almond fudge with extra nuts....hrmm, probably hungrier than I thought, still it works. So yeah, I was thinking about sex and then this fire truck went by, and I contemplated the tackiness of waving them on in like some radio tower landing a 747. It was then that it hit me. I completely forget to unload the dishwasher.

Damn.


3:42 PM
Really I shouldn't have to post anything after that title. I should just let you wonder if I'm some sex kitten or simply a woman whom never bathes. Mystery is good for a relationship I hear. You know, them? Yeah they said so. No I don't know 'them' but I'm told there swell! Oh I came to find, that sitting pretty; well your arse falls asleep when you do it properly. Kind of blows, and not in the good $20 dollar hooker kind of way. Speaking of, are $20.00 hookers good? I'm curious is all. Not looking for a career change or anything, cause even sex day in and day out...well yeah it's sounds good, but it's sounding more like "work" and less like a 'fucking great time'. Yep, I’ve got one odd little visual going on now. No; I don’t want to talk about it. Pervs.

Alright, I’m both. Wait that isn’t true either, I bathe. Daily, point in fact. I shave too, use soap and water and other groovy things too. It all started in the shower really. Me and Mr. Loofah were talking quietly and going over a few things. It was great, until I realized he wasn’t buying me dinner, or porn. Life goes on I’m told. Then I managed to get more back yard work done, take two cats to the vet (and no one’s pooped, peed, bitten, vomited, or scratched me! Yeah me.) and make it home with time to spare for more hot and sweaty, gardening. I wore gloves today. Yeah, I had a manicure done yesterday. *G* Kitten has a lovely set of painted claws. (Linkin Park After Dark, is the colour.)

Okay, I’ll bbiab, a client has come in and ‘demands’ my attention. Oh now she’s so going to get it.

Holiday = Work

Victoria day may mean that most businesses are closed but it certainly doesn't mean that we rest. The backyard work is almost complete; well the stone work portion of it that is. Flowers, burning bushes, smoke bushes, blueberry bushes, double french lilacs, and more galore are coming. We have an urban forest in our backyard. It comes with the territory when you run a 'property services' business out of your home. It our place looks like shit why would anyone want to hire us to fix up their property? It's just one of the home run businesses that we have going but it seems that for all my many desires of sitting here and looking pretty, I don't get to do it that often. Today, I got a ton of dirt beneath my well manicured nails. That's right, I got messy. Feel my pain will you?

Awaiting The 11th Hour

...and it is now hour, one. Maybe that's why the day looks so long at the moment. Now if I can just have a stream of clients come in one right after the other I'd be more than pleased. I'd also be pleased if the child sitting outside of my big "fish bowl" office window would refrain from picking his nose and offing me some of the 'good stuff' whilst shouting through the window; "I CAN SEE YOU!" It's most distracting. The child in question's mother went into the church. They do this quite often. Adults into the church, their demonic spawn stay in the parking lot biting the heads off bats and tormenting small animals.

Bless there little hearts.

So yeah, I officially started work 9 whole minutes ago. How's your day shaping up? Would you like a little boogie with your morning coffee, we have extra around here if the demonic child outside my window is to be believed. Mmmm, now I'm hungry. My tapioca is looking really good right now.

This is Les... err...Jade...Nessman signing off. Yep go ahead, keep laughing, I'll tell ya what the boogies taste like later. Blech.

Crazy is as Crazy Teaches

When attempting to teach conflict resolution to minor children, having the principal scream in their faces does little to show appropriate responses.

The last two days are a bit of a blur in truth. I’m maintaining a level and professional decorum and even minding my manners quite well thankyouverymuch! In the past two days I have admittedly wanted to render the principal unconscious while removing her eyebrows with a letter opener but I have remained stoic, calm, cool, and collected. It. Was. Not. Easy. Seriously, being treated as though I am “just one of those single parents whom are completely stupid,” is not something that places great amounts of confidence in the school my child attends. What can I say I’m an odd duck that way. Go figure. My darling daughter screwed up. The funny thing is she knows it and was the one to bring it to my attention. I picked her up at lunch yesterday to have her look me in the eye and say, “I messed up big time mum.” My response was simple. “Okay what happened and how can we make amends and move forward?” There’s no shame in screwing up, it’s what you do after that can make or break you in my eyes.

Long story shortened. Whimsy had her laptop at school. No problem, she uses it for school work. What she forgot was that there was a DVD in the drive and when she booted it up for the first time at recess the DVD went into autoplay. It was a gory rated R movie. Ugh. I back the school and can fully understand their concerns. Saw III is not under any circumstances a movie to show any child without their parent’s approval and certainly not ever in a school setting. As I’ve explained to Whimsy, who is 12 at the moment. What I allow at home, with supervision and open discussion is not what is going to fly in public. We discussed why it was such a big deal for the school and how this could upset a great many parents. She understood and didn't argue that point at all. What she was upset about was that the principal didn’t believe her that it was a mistake and that she did not intentionally allow others to view the beginning clip of the movie. Nor did the principal wish to hear that the second that she realized what movie it was she shut the laptop down. The screaming at her and informing her that she would never be trusted again didn't really sit well either.

I can understand and even appreciate that the principal is greatly concerned that parent would have her head on a platter. It would have made sense for her to call me right away and have me come down so we could work on a resolution. She didn’t. I have not received even one phone call regarding the matter, nor have I even received a letter home. Whimsy informed me and I went in right away only to be told the principal wasn’t able to see me. Okay. I’ll come back, please give her the note I’ve left and cal me for a good time to come in. Lunch time today comes and still no call. I go in to pick up Whimsy only to find she’s been sitting in the office all morning not doing anything, including the days lessons. Why wasn’t I phoned? I genuinely want to help and have this dealt with in a timely and appropriate manner. Why is it each time I’ve attempted to do the right thing I’m shushed, pushed aside, or ignored? It simply doesn’t make sense. I’ve not yelled, threatened, or made myself a nuisance, and quite frankly where my children’s education is concerned I should be involved!

I sent Whimsy home for lunch and waited for the first free moment to speak with the principal. I was polite but no I was not warm and congenial. I’m at the end of my rope and am tired of the piss poor job this principal does. She more concerned with playing with her tongue ring and looking down her nose at anyone who questions her actions, than about communicating with the parents, and did a really poor job of hiding how intimidated she was. Not to mention how out of her damn league she was. I politely reminded her that when you tell a child they can never be trusted again, you remove their chance of redemption and in most cases the child will stop trying. I also reminded her that telling a parent that they believe their child is a liar is certainly not going to help the situation. First; all kids lie. It is that simple. Second; telling the child to stop wasting your time and just confess to everything she is being blamed of because you having to hunt out all of the facts and look at the overall picture is a waste of everyone’s time….

Oh I haven’t the appropriate words. I do have words like shut the fuck up you flaming cunt from hell. But those are just words for here. Between the real adults.

Yep, I’m 33 and I’ve just learned to hate school.

Weird.

Do I have to keep being a grown up?

Stick Me

Early to bed, early to rise...it's made my knees itchy. Side effect? Who knows. Coffee yesterday with TC. He's hanging in there and far less Laconic than normal. Voice raised and the whole bit. Impressive, and yeah kind of hot. Not going there. Coffee was good, the conversation was great, and yeah someone else get's the "emotional blackmail is bad, bad, bad, bad!"

I'm covering for the SkyGal. She's becoming a citizen today. Pretty cool to be honest. I'll have to get her a present. I'm thinking naked, buff, young man wearing nothing but a loin cloth made of maple leafs. The actual leafs not the team, though that gives me an interesting visual. I'm done in an hour and then I'm off to be stuck and stroked. Sure the stroked part is all my idea, but it's a good one. We'll just have to see how SM feels about it once he's done my tattoos. He's cute, Mitch is cuter, although so damn skinny I'd snap the boy like a twig. Shuders.

Hrms

I'd write a ton of stuff for you. No really I would! I'd have this long, kick ass entry that had tons of profound spell checked shit in it and everything. I however can't remember anything outside of "Meet TC at 4:30 PM for coffee, 404 and 7." Everything before and after that is a complete blur. Hey I bet I was abducted by aliens and due to the stress of the kidnapping, in flight movie with Cameron Diaz (barf), and the flax seed deprivation I was put through I blocked it all out.

It's been a rough day.

I got some...

Now you get some. See the system does, at times; work. The Master Card man likes me lots right now, and I think he's pretty okay too. I spoiled Hyacinth today. It was fun. She's awaiting Tuesday's arrival so that she can completely relax and enjoy her 2 hour massage. She drives me crazy most days, I can admit that. There are times I think if I'd just killed her when I first thought about it; well I'd be out by now. Still there are times she's so amazingly kind and loving that it makes it easy to forget the other moments of her less than perfect behavior.

Slept In

Late to work. I'm not even rushing. Not remotely. Pay cheques are late too, why rush? They're always late, we're not his priority. Cheques could easily be a week to two weeks late. I'm typically on-time for work, or at least 10 minutes early. It is the work ethic that I hold myself too. Here. They're lucky I show up at all at times. Seriously, why are our cheques always late? Payday is every other friday. It's pretty easy to count out, hell even I could show them how. Cheques written early and waiting here would be great. It's not like we're all going to head out and try to cash them before the damn date on them. But no. We're not your priority, we're not even an after thought. I had to call 5 times today to get you to even agree to drop the cheques off at work. Nice game of "Who's in control." I want to play a new game. I want to be armed and we can play "who's your daddy now bitch?"

Side note: When your bored go to the county jail and chat up the street walkers and cross dressing ladies with 5 o'clock shadow. It's a good way to kill time and you learn a ton of cool things. Some of them are even legal.

Must. Move. Faster

The clock is taunting me with whispers of freezing and holding me hostage for eternity. Fine! Clocks can't whisper, but it just sounds so weird telling you that the clock is speaking to me really fast and in German. I am oddly excited this evening. Nothing new, nothing different, nothing that would deem today be any more special than yesterday or even last week; and yet here I am excited just the same. TMQ is coming home tonight, for the weekend. He's visiting more and more it seems. I don't mind. In fact I love it. It still doesn't count for all of this nervous/excited energy that's built up in and around me and wanting to get out with the force of a tornado.

I need to get laid don't I? Good grief.

I Wait

10:57 AM

I’m not sure what I’m waiting for but I’m a betting gal, so yeah it’ll be fantastic. TheGolfingBiker is taking his snooty private lessons today and was all aglow. Yeah he’s such a friggin’ girl sometimes. No of course I’d never say that to his face, while he were awake. Still I’m glad to see he’s doing something for himself. The OldHens are all arriving in successions today as is their weekly thing to do. Blue hair and denture cream is my life on Thursdays and Fridays. They’re all insane and by the goods it’s more fun than I can describe. Inside the house or outside of the house my life is a sweet ride. More latter Hyacinth is hovering due to the fact I’ve separated her from her friends on Pogo!

5 Free Minutes

I'm not sure that there is such a thing but at the moment I've managed to commandeer a chair and the computer without the aid of a pet, child, or crazy older person asking me questions, or needed my aid for a moment! This weekend has been a whirl wind of do, fix, wash, and ohmyfuckinggods the cats in heat. I've found drinking and sunbathing helps, yet I may not be the one to offer advice in this area. Or at least that's what the men in the white coats are telling me, what do they know? Really, put a plaque on the wall and they think they're 'all knowing' and helpful. So Mainecoon is in heat, and my; what a lovely trill she has, at 3, 4, 5, 6... Yeah you get the picture. Mr. FuzzyNutz has figured out that this could be his lucky day... Okay not so much since I am armed with a locked room to host current HussyGirl and a supersoaker when he 'thinks' he's getting brave. The dog, well he wants nothing to do with any of them at the moment and has sought refuge on the roof. Okay so it's not really the roof but it could be if you tilt your head to the side and squint really hard after staring at the sun for 10 minutes. Yep that’s about how well my day is shaping up, who’s coming over for brunch?

Low Cal Breakfast?

Probably not, but it was healthy and it really is low calorie when the dog shares half of it with me! Orange juice, 1, 50 cal cup of peach yoghurt, frozen mangos all blended into a refreshing drink. Enjoyed on the front deck at 9am where the temperatures had already hit 75 degrees due to us getting full morning sun there, and lovingly shared with the dog. Yes the view of a 120 lb Rottie and I drinking out of the same glass is probably not helping my single life status, but at least I got a tan and my coat is so shiny! I’ll be taking the dewormer later…. *shrugs* Incidentally if you’re going to have a banana split, share that with the dog too and you’ll really reduce your calorie count. Please just make sure that there isn’t any chocolate on it or in the ice-cream as it is poison to our lovable furry babies. The afternoon was spent putting on a ton of SPF as I got just a tad too much sun yesterday. Think burnt sienna, and that’s pretty close to the hue I’m glowing at the moment. Yeah, I’m a bloody genius.

Happy Cinco de Mayo

To all of you still in bed... Fuck Ya'll!

Of course I don't mean that in a 'bad' way. Four AM comes early when sleep comes around Two AM. Not sure why I'm having such a hell of a time sleeping but I'm betting that it's nothing heavy medication, a team of doctors, and enough booze that even those Olsen twins look good; can't fix. It gave me some added time to go through a few posts and fix the spelling errors, and create entirely new ones. I'm gifted like that. I would prefer if I was gifted with a client or two this morning but as of yet...de nada.

The owner's called twice to see if there's anything that needs to be taken care of, which translates to, "I'm checking up on you." It's pretty obvious too, sad really. She's here, or twice a month, for about 30 minutes each time and she thinks I might just skip off? Yes and then who would open, close, run..YOUR BUSINESS! Sorry had to vent for a mo' $10.00/hr really doesn't cover the various bullshit I deal with from the owner, but I like my clients. They are worth it, and yeah so is the manager. She's just really good people you know? The kind that actually holds herself to a higher standard and fights the owners right along side me in demanding that they be ethical!

It's not like the information from the first call to the latest call has changed. Not unless she's gone ahead and paid the deposit for the signs (so they can start working on them), or gotten someone to fix the broken machine, or paid the late notice on the a/c unit. You know simple things really. I love my manager, and I love my clients, they are the only reason I've not gone to the hospital and taken that job. Bah, enough griping, we need some music and some laughter.

Beauty, Parenting, Work, and Something else...I forget

He is beyond beautiful. I haven't a clue as to who he is, or what his quirks are but he is nonetheless beautiful. Deep ebony skin, an orange shirt that should require sunglasses to be sold with it, green work pants and a black and white scarf around his neck; all completely soaked down with sweat as he lugged his heavy equipment, and backpack up the street with most dazzling smile upon his face. A smile that spoke of determination, pride, and something unnameable. It actually made my heart clench in my chest and the urge to stop the car and just say hello to him was almost overwhelming. Of course most wouldn't agree with my term of beauty, but to me he certainly is. To see another human being toil away and do something that is at best difficult and yet have "that" smile still dancing along their lips making everything around them that much brighter is something to behold. I would never tire of a smile like that directed at me. One could only be so lucky.

Whimsy found him just as interesting. She had that deep thought face, when I turned to look at her. Then just a quickly as it came it went away and a look of surprise danced across it and was complete with peels of laughter and pointing. It seems in my moment of awe someone on the other side passed me and as per my daughter's words, "He was checking you out!" I think I dropped her once too often as a child. She's off and being little miss social butterfly at the moment and doing her level best to pay me back for every ounce of worry I brought upon my mothers with my 'social networking' way back when. She, like I, has a difficult time standing completely still on days like this. The sun is just too perfect, and the wind is just too right, and the laughter is just tooo easily found to sand still and let it pass you by. Why would you want to?

At the moment "Lovestoned" is bouncing off the walls and dancing around my energy lending to the desire to dance until I drop once again. Music, dancing, music, music, and more music runs through my veins at the rate of light speed and I for one am not looking for any type of cure. I must write, I must dance, and I must always have music. Even in my sleep there must be music. Anything less would be unthinkable.

Dance With Me.

Ahhhh Yessss

What an amazing day! The sun is out, the clouds are floating by in pretty shapes, there all fluffy and white and just screaming out, "come out side and see us." I mean sure they scream it in PigLatin and it's with this really outlandish accent but it's still pretty cool. I've done my pedicure, my nails look fab, I kicked a man in the stones, and my gods I think I've caught a bit of a tan. What a fun day! The music is wayyyy up! I shall be deaf by tomorrow but I'll still be smiling. I even have some of my older clients grooving to Usher, Nelly and Timbaland. It does give me just a little happy to see 80 year old women grinning and shakin' their groove thang to songs like Maneater, Yeah, and Promiscuous. Can you even begin to imagine how much fun this is? I swear Old Lady B almost threw out her hip trying some 'pop'n'lock' move that really shouldn't be done outside of a night club, or a bed; and Ms. MacFly was trying to do the robot! Sure it came off more like spasm's and a requirement for 911, but they were really giving it a good effort. My clients are completely insane, you will never be able to imagine how damn much fun that is!

You Don’t Say

Soon to be ex called. He wanted to chit chat,
shoot the breeze, unload about how hard things
are for he and his girlfriend.

Huh

Imagine that.

I offered good advice, and listened to it all
with a smile. Overall, it wasn’t as hard as
you would imagine. Sure it was weird. How
many people sit back and give advice to their
husbands in regards to their girlfriends?
Probably more than we’d think. Shrugs. I hope
it works out for them. Me, I'm really starting
to like being single. Okay I'll admit that
there was a moment or two, when the call came
through that I did ponder just how many kittens
I'd have to save to balance out my karma should
I tell him to suck wax fruit. You know if I
grew a penis and some chest hair, I could at
least date a gay man who'd dress me well and
keep me away from harsh lighting.

Quickie

My internet at home is blowing like a Hooters girl on a Saturday night. There's something interfering with my wireless connection. I think it might be the implant the aliens placed in my mother, but that’s just one of those wild guesses. It might be something weird too.

Sexy Back

Yesterday ended up being a really god day. Odd how that works. I was sure I’d have to go on some bloody rampage, but no. I’m glad to be honest; I was after all wearing these really cute shoes and those pants that just scream out, “good ass day ahead.” By the gods I love those pants. With work done I swung by home and picked up TMQ. Whimsy said she’d rather say home and just “chillax” and proceeded to do just that. That girl is so damn funny, and smart. She’s the breath of fresh air that makes my day’s worthwhile. TMQ and I went to…the mall. Blech. Loathe that place but he and I always end up there. He’s a teen so it’s excusable, for now. We searched for his cologne, Blue Jeans. Of course that was sold out so we ended up getting Versace Man, instead. Not sure I like the scent as much but he say’s its fine, and he’s a guy so it must be “fine.”

We weren’t able to find his football pants around here so it looks like we’ll be heading out of here early and check out Si Vous Play Sports in Pickering. They should have the pants he wants. It’s not a ‘must have’ situation but an extra pair would be helpful. I want to do that for him, and if it’ll help out Laconic then it’s fine with me. The man refuses to take child support from me! Know, I know, I wouldn’t take it from him either, not really. We were/are friends and if the kids need something whoever is able just get whatever item it is. Hell if Laconic needs anything them I’ll get it for him too. He does the same for me much to other’s amusement. People don’t get it, we really are friends. Best friends, we’re family, always will be. I guess I just don’t get that notion that because we were once together, and have children together that we are ‘supposed to’ hate one another. Why should it be like that? We love the kids, we love one another, and we’re just not in love with each other. Sure it might have been nice of us to recognize that before we had kids, but in the end it really worked out and I certainly don’t regret it.

In the end we have, between he, his wife and I, four kids that are amazing! They each have our best qualities and seem to have opted not to take on our lesser qualities. Pretty fantastic really. No, his wife and I are not all best-friendy and such, but she’s a good lady. I tend to annoy her, and I get that. There’s still an insecurity there for her that while silly, it's how she feels and it should be respected. I do my level best to ensure that I don’t do things to make that insecurity rear its ugly head, and over time I think she’s come to see that I certainly have no designs on her husband. To be honest that line of thought is, disturbing. I don’t believe in going backwards to something that you just know doesn’t work, that’s insane.

Oh and speaking of insane. Yeah this is my life… So to end a perfectly good week, I’ve had men in my bed. Let’s not forget they were gay, or asleep. I caught the eye of another man yesterday, once again gay, but he thought I was ‘adorable’ and he loved my ring. Yeah my feelings of being sexy are just jumping by leaps and bounds. *insert eye roll here* But hey there was this sort of attractive woman, in Costco, who checked out my ass… or maybe it was the jeans. They really are great jeans! Oh and I had a sexy dream… about Justin Timberlake. So who’s going to pay for my therapy? Sure he’s got a whole sensual thing going on that could really create some lusty thoughts but sweetjaysus there was really no call for dreaming about him naked, and doing that thing with his… Yeah those thoughts will lead to embarrassing moments and a seat on Dr. Phil. Gods I need to get laid, there just aren’t enough batteries left in the house and stealing the one from the kids gameboys is not working out now that they have those stupid rechargeable DS ones.

On a brighter note, I’ve lost 12 Lbs. Water weight really but I still say, “go me.” Warning head, female icky talk fellas. It’s weird, just before my monthly I retain water like the Hoover dam, I seriously, like clockwork gain upwards of 12 to 15 lbs! By the 8th day or so I’m slowly getting back down and feel a hell of a lot better, but let me just tell you for those 8 or so day’s I feel like the blob. Oh stop cringing men, if you were the ones with a period we’d hear all about it! It’s not like you guys don’t have PMS! You so do. Sure we’re the cause of it but that’s neither here nor there. It the fault that I work with women, all women that brings out this ‘honest gross talk.’ There’s little we’ve not discussed at work. It’s a women’s gym so yeah, there’s bloating, PMS, fellatio talk, stretch mark solutions (none of which have worked for me!), and the sore nipple chatter. Can’t forget those talks. See what you guys are missing out on. Now tell me the gods honest truth, fellas do you ever have those day’s when you just feel, less than fresh?

6:33 PM
TQM is back in the city now and let me just tell you how fast the drive can be made when you've got decent music and a smart assed kid!

Sex With My Coffee

So there I was jut rolling, rolling, rolling, out of bed this morning, and thunk onto the floor I went, groaning. Bloody Hell. I, ever so gracefully lever myself up using the side of the bed, and my teeth; eyes still half closed. To say lethargy pulled down upon my limbs like a ton and a half of bricks saddled around my neck and shoulders would have been a wild understatement. Kind of like saying Ann Coulter is a fuck wit, or George Bush Jr. is a child. I always thought gravity was against me; this particular morning my suspicions were confirmed in a blossoming clarity of blue, green, and purple upon my laurels. It was too cool, I was too warm, and I was too heavy, and my whole body was screaming for coffee in a way that would make even the entire band of Guns N Roses think twice before stepping between the mug and I. Stumbling around for a few I do indeed manage to find what I believe were my children’s sleeping forms. It could have been the dog or cats, or someone else entirely; but I’m going to go with the notion that it was indeed my children. Looking down at their peaceful sleeping figures, I debated poking them awake – just for my own pleasure, and to tell him I was going out. In the end I left off, and just got ready for work. Once completely ready I did a sort of nudging, jostling thing that works to get them awake enough to hear me but not awake enough to have them fully up and unable to go back to sleep. We did the quiet early morning ‘I love yous’ and I was off.

“Ohmygodsthecold…Sofuckingcold!” My brain screamed and reminded me of the warmth we had just left. If we stayed we could even make our own coffee, for free. Shuddering off the cold only served in the freezing morning air finding it’s way past my skin and into those pockets of warmth that are supposed to just be there at all times– it was ‘oh hell no’ o’clock, from my calculations – and I started the car and thought about the likelihood in which I’d have to run people over just to shut them up. Early morning cheeriness was something that was making me nauseous this morning, and my just shaved legs prickling all over with goose bumps were not helping the mood. I wanted, no, I needed coffee, and I need it now! Yeah it was that kind of moment. And okay so if I’m completely honest coffee and sex would have been even better but we all know how that friggin turned out. Little miss smiles-n-giggles handed me the beautiful massive mug of caffeinated mouth watering goodness, and the hunk behind me...kissed his wife, and I killed them all with just a thought. I sipped my coffee and finally smiled.

I have three clients coming in within the hour and yeah, they're all gonna pay for my morning. They know this, they pay for this, and well, yeah, yay me.

Mean Girls

I just read a fellow journalers post and couldn’t help but laugh. No wonder men think we’re all nuts. We kind of are.

Do I get what happened between the two women? Yeah, it's a pretty common thing. Most women will get the insanity in a way that doesn't seem so insane to us, but to the rest of the world/men yeah pretty nuts. Sorry guys, it's a vagina thing.

Ooh...

Its effect can only be duplicated if you drop your tone to that of something so soft it’s almost non existent and just breathe the letters… “Ooh.” That is what it’s like each and every moment I get to see him, and yet, never going to happen. The sad very realistic part of my life is the fact that I know beyond any shadow of doubt, my fantasies are always better than the reality.

Men In my Bed

I had men in my bed. That’s right not a man, men! So three of them were gay and one was asleep…Yeah I think that’s enough sharing for today. Blech.

Resting Wicked

Morning, afternoon, evening, whatever greeting fit. It’s morning here in the wonderful state/providence of nonconformity. It’s cooler than yesterday, but being only April and well the mere fact that on Easter it snowed, I can’t really complain. I want to get up and go but am doing my level best to let the stupid wound heal properly. That and I’ve not been able to gnaw through the chain yet. Kidding, sort of. Mum, aka: Hyacinth and her adoring hubby, The Golfing Biker, are hovering. Ok so GB is just kind of being his grumpy supportive guy self, and Hyacinth is hovering like a crazy woman. In an hours time I think she’s force fed me 8 cups of tea and half a loaf of dry toast. I know she’s concerned and trying to help. Still the dog is really getting full from all the toast and my sock drawer can’t take another slice.

Of course this is pretty much my own fault. I ate dairy after taking my meds and wow, won’t be forgetting those things don’t mix. Ever. The stomach cramps sent me to my damn knees. She’s just trying to be a good nurse, she’s failing miserably but we’ll give her and E for effort. I want coffee. I want coffee so bad I’m willing to stab her in the eye to make my point that I’ve had more than enough tea thankyouverymuch. This is what happens when you think, that taking over the house so that your parents; whom are no longer spring chickens; can retire and do all those things that they haven’t been able to do because they were always taking care of the kids. Namely my brother, three sisters, and I. What was I thinking? This trying to be the good, eldest daughter…sometimes it kind of blows. Other times it’s a hoot’n’a’half. Which incidentally is close to a hootenanny, but there’s a whole lot more hoot and just a touch of nanny.

The soon to be X emailed this morning. He’s in better spirits and I’ve got to say, he was quite kind. I think given time, we really could be friends. Time does heal many things, not all wounds of course; some are far too deep to ever truly heal. I keep hearing the, “you’re young dear, you’ll find love again” speech from well meaning people. I’m not sure who they are, or how they know I’m getting divorced, but they all seem really nice. The thing is I’m not ready for that, not yet. I’m not sure if I ever will be. I had always said that I would only ever marry once. Well I’ve traveled that road. I’m 33, 34 as of November, so sure I’m still young. The catch, is there one? I suppose there is. I have two children, their in the teens, I do not want to have any more. I can’t either. Snip, snip went those little tubes years ago, like in my 20’s. Are there that many men, around my age interested in never having children? Then again who say’s I’ll fall for some guy; I could find the woman of my dreams in the distant future. I’d be more than happy with that so long as it isn’t a fix up from my sister or her wife. They just don’t have the same taste in women that I do.

Grumble, Whoops, Grumble

Alright, I’ll admit it. I was wrong. I was so wrong that my wrongness was celebrated with a little victory dance. Yes, I love my children. I’d love it if my children would play in traffic for a few but yes, I do in fact love them. You see my little incident with the rusty nail yesterday afternoon….Well it turned out to be a bit more serious than I initially decided it would be. Sure to most a nail through the le is a big deal, but it really isn’t! Just ask the headless guy! So fine it hurt more, I gave in and went to the clinic; today. A tetanus shot, antibiotic shot, and a hefty prescription later and I’m just peachy. A little blood poisoning, pfft. You know, before I went into the damn doctors only my leg hurt.
Now my arse, hip, shoulder, and leg hurt. This curing business; yeah not so much fun for the patient. The doctor, he say’s he’s feeling perfectly fine. I almost kicked him. Nothing like showing a guy a little leg and having the first words out of his mouth be, “Oh now I don’t like the looks of that!” Of course Mr. Funny Man has to then poke the swollen, red, so obviously painful area and asks, “Does that hurt?” I of course being the smart arse that I am dryly reply, “only when I cough.”

So he poked me again and said, “cough!” Oh there was much mumbling and grumbling about smart assed doctors and their not so funny ways. His assistant while really cute, (chocolate brown hair, really dark eyes, nice rack, cute ass.) was way too happy to offer to help me out of my pants. Yeah so if I hadn’t have been in pain…Maybe I’ll go back with a slight cough one day. Actually both she and the doctor were really good looking. Freakishly so. I kind of looked around and felt like that singing ‘can you tell which thing just doesn’t belong.’ Alas before I could break into song my phone rang, it was for the doctor. My son’s father, whom knew I was there called and asked to speak to the doctor. So TC and Mr. Funny Doctor Man carry on a conversation while I sit on my arse and think about hitting on the assistant in return, cause really what else was there to do? The doctor hands me back my phone and is laughing his fool head off. The assistant shrugs and adds in so helpfully, “I think you broke him.” Me? I just really want to go home now.

I finally get the hell out of the loony bin and head home with the intent to maim and possibly abuse all those that bitched at me to go to the doctors. I didn’t get to do any of that though; there was still stuff to clean up in the back yard before I drove to Pickering. I did however whallop my son, with a bag of peat moss. I feel much better now. As it turned out is was an amazing day. It hit 22° C and the neighbors helped us clean up. We all sat around chatting and playing with the 4 dogs and just enjoying one another’s company. Oh and for those of you looking for the new Pokemon games, Diamond and Pearl; Zeller’s has them. $44.95 CDN each.

So how was your day?

Day's Almost End

6:26 PM
The first job might have been finished at one o'clock but that certainly didn't mean that I was finished for the day. The joy of working honest jobs is that you often have to work more than one of them to make all the payments for the sporting events. Today was the day that we had to stock back up on football gear. And they say women’s undergarments are expensive, sure they can be but Under Armour gear beats even women’s lace bras. I'm thinking at this rate I'm going to buy stock in both Under Armour and Nike. At least it's done and he's not going to be skidding around in his old Land Sharks with the worn down soles.

By the time I made it home the dumpster had been delivered and thus began the next round of hard labor. The deck has been ripped apart and we've actually filled half of the dumpster. The shed will come down tomorrow and then the real work will begin. I'm not sure how well I'll be standing by the time it's all said and done. I screwed up and had an eight foot board bounce back, nails and all. My shin is killing me, and TQM is bitching that I need to go in for a tetanus shot. I'm thinking no. The emergency room on a Saturday evening is not the place I want to be. Why can't Costco just sell them, they sell everything else!


Dock Rock Therapy
If sweating to the oldies works for you, do it. Whatever it is that sets your mind at ease, and uplifts your spirit; if in the process you are able to get into a bit better shape as well, then good for you. Seriously, do whatever it is that makes you feel at the top of your game. My time is usually best served in the company of those I can be myself with and not have to curb a single word out of my mouth. They know me and accept me, faults, accomplishments and all. I have that kind of thing with Alley. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever come across. It never fails to put me in the best mood the minute she say’s “Hello.” I wasn’t sure how this day was going to play out 45 minutes ago, right now I can say it’s going to be a fantastic day. Thanks for that Alley! You know if you were Bi, I'd so hit on you. Damn straight girl.

Alright now enough of that mushy stuff, and get back to work. If only I could figure out just what I am supposed to be working on. Memberships, membership cards, 12 visit membership cards! Yeah I so completely rock!

PS: It's a tampon. There's really only one correct use for it. Why are you charging me fee's that rival those of the pen designed for NASA? I don't need anything 'braided' near my crotch, I don't give two flying figs if it's pearl, neon blue, or a moody black. Make it absorbant and then leave me and my crotch alone. Thanks.

Ouch

The cramps are at an all time high today and I’m not sure why. Not even remotely close, so would whoever is out there overlooking the entire ovary cramp thing take 5 and chill. Come back in another week? Ah hell, why not make it 3 and just take some time for yourself. I hate to see such an important deity overworked.

Poor Manners

His humor, it isn’t my humor. When I call to speak to another, that is anyone but him; he likes to play, “they’re not here. I’m not handing over the phone. I can do whatever I want and if you don’t like it I’ll hang up. If I don’t get my own way I’ll pout and behave like a complete grouch for the next three days.” I hate calling the house when I know he’s there. If I’m calling, it’s because I’m at work. That would mean I don’t have time to fuck around on the phone, so when I ask to speak to my minor child, put said child on the fucking phone and shut the hell up asshole!

Oh, I feel better now.

Taking A Stand

In the face of injustice and cruelty he did just that. There are many reasons I can state clearly that I am in fact so very proud of my children. Today however stands out as something that goes beyond simple pride and showed me that he has a greatness within him that is going to change the world. I am in awe of my children.

Win, Loose, or Draw...

...It's all in how you document the ride.

"Have fun out there girls."
.
.
.
We trumped those car jacking law breakers!

The other team were a bunch of car jackers?
They don't even have licenses's, and that one
girl; if she was even pushing 4 feet tall that
would have been a miracle; and umm; we
did in fact loose.

Hey you remember the game your way and
I'll remember it mine!

Sighs

I was wrong. I know that. Lots of times we don't know what right or wrong is, but lots of times we do, and damn... this is one. I may not have had malicious intent at the outset, but there were plenty of opportunities for me to make it right. Very few people these days take responsibility for anything any more, we bluster, we obfuscate, we misdirect, we rationalize. "Everybody does it", that's what we say. So we come to occupy a moral safe house where everyone's to blame, so no one's guilty. Well today I was flat out wrong and to compound my vast levels of wrongness I fell flat on my face. I however did not lie there, I've gotten back up and I'm getting back in the damn game come hellions or high water!

Spoiled Rotten

Treats are just for children. We dropped a few treats to three of our favorite furry kids today. They paid us the biggest compliment in the world… There was utter silence as all three gnawed away on their bones. We’ll see how long the ‘indestructible’ bones last, but in the mean time I have three very happy furry kids, and two very, very happy parents.

Spit On This

Yes be a dear and spit on this would you dear? There are so many requests that are made throughout a work day that I can scarcely remember them. That last one however, well there is this image of my spit in her belly button that is really sticking out.

Holy Hannah

Now there are many things I am comfortable with, yes this includes my weight gain from time to time. I am not however comfortable with noticing such a drastic increase in weight gain only to understand that this occurred in a relatively short time and the only reason for such an increase is that I had to have been reaching for comfort foods instead of facing reality. Never a good thing. That isn’t the person I wish to be nor is it a healthy way to go through life.

I need to come first again.

Insecticide

My 'boss', club owner that is. She's not really the boss of much inside or outside of work to be blunt. So she standing in the office saying, "blah blah blah" something so-cally important and I'm glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. I can't take much more. I'm going to take my shoe off any minute and just beat her to death with it. Then it hits me. I turn around and start flicking the light switch on and off and on and off, and she's getting all twitchy, so I flick the lights on and leave them on and she scurry's away. I was right all along. She really is a cockroach.

To The Dogs

It’s what the day had gone to and in the best possible of ways. I had fun, the children had fun and then some, and the dogs; they are now passed out cold. That is a sure fire way to know they had fun.

Nervous

I haven’t spent any time with these people, at least not in the past 10 years. I don’t really know them anymore. They don’t really know me either. Are they just as nervous, or is it just me? Just because we happened to share a last name for a time doesn't actually make us "family".

Good Friday, Goodness

Not being a Christian I am of course not doing anything of great importance today. At least not what many would consider important. I happen to believe that I am doing something far more important than going to service, or preparing for a large dinner in his honor. No, I have the distinct pleasure of spending some extreme quality time with my children, whom at this moment are proving to be rather surprising. Teens, teens whom are related, are in fact getting along. Their laughter, kind treatment of one another, and politeness that I have always known was there, however hidden, is shining through. I'm not certain how long it will last so I am being careful not to interrupt it in the slightest.

Later I'm dressing like a nun and going bar hopping.

Sleepy For A While

I was set to close my eyes and drift into the place between sleep and wakefulness, that beautiful place where everything is soft and just slightly out of focus. I tend to enjoy that momentary place of peace before I become dead to the world. It didn't work out like that though. Just as I entered into the realm of bliss I was shoved out of it with jarring clarity as the phone rang sharply beside my ear. It was time to get on the road and join the other million holiday travelers. Joy. To my surprise it ended up being a pretty fast road. The winds were hell in truth but I managed just fine. By nine thirty we were back and the laughter and lightheartedness seemed to seep out of every pore as we chatted and caught up with the past weeks events. For once I wasn't bitter about being pulled from my bed.

Hesitant

The trust isn't there like it should be. We take cautious steps back and forth in a dance that often times resembles a tango, while other's it's a complex fox trot that leaves us breathless and spent. I prefer the tango of course, but with each new step we take there is always something different and hesitant. Will we ever learn to move with that fluid grace that comes from two people whom completely trust not only each other but themselves as well?

Hi, I'm....

I like long walks on short beaches, the word coco butter, and men in uniform. I really like when the uniform is tossed on the floor without the man in it. I’m an gregarious introvert with poor punctuation and a sarcastic streak a mile wide. (Yes we know, we know, much like your Johnson.)

I had a plan. It was a good plan, a plan with arrows and graphs, and a happy face in the corner. There would have even been a moment or two for four part harmony…Well guess what? That plan of mine, the brilliant one? Yeah, it went up in flames and came down with me leaving and the ‘new girl’ moving in. Seven years, maybe we itched, I’m not sure of anything at the moment. We floundered, I got fed up and said what neither wanted to say. Love? Yes. But it isn’t always enough. I want and deserve more. Respect being a key term. That isn’t true either, I don’t want the ‘key term’ I want the practice application of the term and it’s full meaning. I am not worthless, nor am I a slut or a whore. I just play those on TV. We never had any children together. Small mercies
indeed.


I'm 33, I've got two children. One boy, one girl, 15 and 13; yes I can do the math too. I'm single again, and to be honest…I really like it. Okay I need to find a well hung 21 year old and get off every other night but that’ll come, like me; in time. S/he will have to be okay with tattoo's and body piercings. Technically, I’m still married. In Canada you have to be separated for a full year before filing for divorce. We’ve been living apart, with he in the US and me, not, since June of 2006. I asked for a divorce in January/February 2007. He screamed and yell about what a heartless bitch I was at 4:00am a week or so later via my cell phone. I listened, I waited until he was calm-er and did my level best to offer support. He was hurting. I get that. April 4, she became a permanent part of his life. I wish them well. Yes, really.


I know I’m happy for them, but I also think I’m a little numb. I was asked out on a date the other day, I responded with, “That isn’t possible, I’m still married.” Weird response; for a woman whom never really believed in marriage in the first place. I’m quirky like that. I love animals, some of them I like cooked. I do animal rescue in my off time. I work in a holistic center/gym, sometimes I want to throw crystals at people. I think people are basically good, but many are just really to dumb for words…(ouch the psycho-therapist here pinched me for that comment. Aversion therapy anyone?) She doesn’t like it when I call her clients, “crazy”, nor does she like it when I use “What about Bob” s a point of reference and whisper “baby steps” to her. We’re friends.


I had a student loan. Canadian Bonded Credits found me amusing and called me all the time. I paid off my student loan in full. I’m broke, and now I call Canadian Bonded Credits just to make sure they’re doing okay. My collection agent just had her 30th birthday. Her mom say’s “hi”. I have credit card, it’s paid off too, for now. I can’t make any promises in the future, see when I get my money other people get theirs. It’s the system, it sometimes works. I really like pie. Roy Orbison’s wife isn’t dead, she’s in hiding because her husbands voice was so bad. The Axe product line is... okay, I prefer the way Versace smells on my son though. My daughter thinks pink should be banned from every store. I once bought her a pink shirt and she said, “I know where you sleep.” I’ve never bought her pink again. She’s amazing. She plays basketball and pushes her brother’s buttons better than anyone I know. He plays football and pushes her buttons better than anyone I know.

She lives with me. He lives with his dad now, and I get him every weekend. His dad and I are best friends. He’s a good man, horrible cook, and can sleep like the dead through anything. He thinks I’m the strong one, I think he’s the good soul. His wife hates us both.

Alright that’s shall be enough for today. A little mystery in a relationship is good, plus I don’t want to write any more. I want a coffee and some chocolate, so I’m having hot tea and a power bar. Help!

But You Promised

Many years ago Indian braves would go away in solitude to prepare for manhood. One hiked
into a beautiful valley, green with trees and bright with flowers. There as he looked up at
the surrounding mountains, he noticed a rugged peak capped with dazzling snow.
"I will test myself against that mountain," he thought. He put on his buffalo hide shirt, threw his blanket over his shoulders, and set off to climb the pinnacle. When he reached the top, he stood on the rim of the world. He could see forever, and his heart swelled with pride.
Then he heard a rustle at his feet. Looking down, he saw a snake. Before he could move, the snake
spoke. "I am about to die," said the snake. "It is too cold up here and there is no food. Put me under your coat and take me down to the valley."

"No," said the youth.

"I know your kind. You are a rattle snake. If I pick you up, you will bite me, and your bite will kill me." "Not so," said the snake. "I will treat you differently. If you do this for me, I will not harm you." The youth resisted awhile, but this was a very persuasive snake. At last the youth tucked the snake under his coat and carried it down to the valley. There he laid it down gently.

Suddenly the snake coiled, rattled, leaped, and bit him on the leg. "But you promised," cried the youth! "You knew what I was when you picked me up," said the snake as it slithered away.
- As Told By Iron Eyes Cody


Yes, I knew better. Seven years is a long time to waste on something you knew wouldn't work
out in the long run. It was sheer stubbornness on my part and thanks to it I'm having to face
the reality now. Let me just tell you, the reality of a long awaited divorce may be sweet, but it is
expensive! Momma always said we pay for our mistakes, one way or another; we pay.

Shhh

I’ve made it until this very moment. It was peaceful, relaxing, and now the silence is deafening, and the stillness; oppressive. Whimsy will return with a smile and happy chatter and I’ll smile. She’s like that, always a kind word or a funny quote. Shared moments are a large part of our fabric and laughter.